


dancing with our hands tied

by taeyeons



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Lee Jeno/Mark Lee, Non-Graphic Violence, Pining, Summer Romance, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Sexual Tension, brief mention of death, dh swears like a sailor lol, my mtv (mark tunnel vision) is severe cure me pls, nahyuck are soooo stupid i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:21:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeyeons/pseuds/taeyeons
Summary: In the haven of the shared gardens, two boys discover pollen in flowers, a penchant for insects and something that lasts beyond summer.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 58
Collections: Love Dream 2020





	dancing with our hands tied

**Author's Note:**

  * For [noturno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noturno/gifts).



> hii xavi! hope you don't mind me calling you that. this prompt called out to me the moment i set my eyes on it, and thank you for that. i did my very best in trying to capture the essence of nahyuck in this fic, i hope you like it (✿◠‿◠)
> 
> to k: my love, thank you for holding my hand throughout. i love you.
> 
> to mods: you're so patient, thank you for the endless support.
> 
> to tswift & doja cat: i owe you two so much. thx. and if you didn't know, title from tswift! god bless.
> 
> to everyone: i hope you enjoy reading my Very messy fic and fall in love with these disastrous gays! do give your love to the rest of the fics of this exchange as well! happy valentines xx

There are things in life that are beyond Donghyuck's control.

Things like his father's habit of flicking cigarette butts out of the window while he drives, the scent of smoke still strong enough to fill his head with a pounding pain. Or...things like his university applications, already processed and awaiting answers, and he can't do anything more to win over the significant boards (which is such a foreign concept to Donghyuck, seeing as he tends to always get his way). And lastly, but most of all, he can't control the absolutely infuriating, irksome existence of a singular Na Jaemin.

Which, at this moment, Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to erase that very existence off the surface of the earth.

“I thought you said he was an ugly little gremlin?” Mark raises his eyebrows as he watches Jaemin weaving his way through the crowd. “Now I’m starting to believe that you’re just envious of him.”

Donghyuck scoffs, taking a sip from his cup and grimacing immediately after. The punch is definitely spiked with something alcoholic and he’s disappointed with the taste but settles for it especially after seeing Jaemin at this party. He definitely needs the numbness of the alcohol to dull his senses around the boy.

“He _is_ an ugly little gremlin,” Donghyuck says, though his gaze can’t seem to stop following Jaemin as he goes around, making pleasantries with those he knows. “You can’t judge a book by its cover, darling.”

“Well, I’m saying that he’s a very pretty exception to that,” Mark shrugs and Donghyuck notices, for a split second, the sparkling glint of interest in his eyes before he forces his gaze away.

It’s the first party of the summer – hosted by none other than Ten whom Donghyuck had met at a nightclub a year prior, where he sneaked out to with a couple of newly made friends at the beach. It was more fate than coincidence, Donghyuck believes, when Ten walked out of the backdoor with a pack of cigarettes in his hand, pausing only when he noticed Donghyuck puking his guts out from the influx of alcohol he had all night. Since then, Ten had taken Donghyuck in like a little brother, which he is eternally grateful for.

Whilst Donghyuck had been to a few of these, his best friend, Mark has never been to this town, doesn’t know all of these faces Donghyuck had been seeing every summer. Notably, as a fresh piece of meat, everyone’s making eyes at Mark, seizing him up. Donghyuck sidles a little closer to his best friend, though he’s sure Mark is capable of taking care of himself.

“I kind of understand why you need glasses,” Donghyuck quips before forcibly dragging Mark towards the kitchen in hopes that Jaemin doesn’t follow them there.

Mark raises an eyebrow at the sudden diversion but goes along without a protest. Two weeks into June and Donghyuck is already ready to drink himself into a stupor, especially now that he is legal enough to do so without a trace of guilt. That’s what Jaemin’s existence does to him; pulling him into impulsive, unsound decisions.

They’re met with more rowdy drunkard teenagers hogging the kitchen counter where the drinks are. Donghyuck is already reaching for the mixed vodka shots, knowing deep inside that he’ll regret it when the morning comes but such rationality is beyond him now. Mark does shoot him a glance but doesn’t say anything which he’s grateful for, opting to hang back when Donghyuck downs two shots at once.

“Donghyuck!”

At the mention of his name, Donghyuck turns, the whiplash of the alcohol hitting him at the same time, and finds himself stumbling back from the force of an embrace tightening around him. He makes a surprised noise and pulls back to see a familiar face that hasn’t been around for a while.

“Jeno?” Donghyuck’s voice is edging on bewilderment as he takes the sight of the boy in his arms in, wondering if it’s the effect of the alcohol so early in the night. It’s been a good year and a half since he last saw Lee Jeno on this side of the town. “Wh- you’re here?”

Jeno’s eyes crinkle, the sight of his smile so terribly assuring to Donghyuck that he steps back a little to assess the boy further. There hadn't been any news of Jeno's family though many speculated that he moved to another bustling city, which isn't quite far from all the truths Jeno had once spilled to Donghyuck under the semblance of the crescent moon. The boy is local-borne and has always dreamt of the streets in big cities (though Donghyuck never spoke well of Seoul).

"Here I am," Jeno affirms, his smile widening. "We had a big move to Seoul, sorry I didn't call you about it."

"God, it's fine, it's fine," Donghyuck leans forward to pass Jeno a bottle of beer, to which Jeno accepts with a murmur of gratitude. "You can tell me all about it later." Glancing over at Mark who has been watching the exchange with a dazed look, Donghyuck jerks his chin towards Mark, bringing Jeno's attention to his best friend. "Jeno, this is Mark, my partner in crime back home. Mark, this is Jeno, my ex crush."

At that, Jeno scrunches his nose in irritation, the back of his hand neatly landing a smack against Donghyuck's torso. That, in itself, pulls a pained wince out of Donghyuck, doubling over and clutching at his stomach.

"I'm not his ex crush or whatever he says," Jeno says to Mark in the midst of Donghyuck trying to push the pain to the back of his head. _God,_ Jeno is so heavy handed with his hits, years have passed since they first met at a young age and Donghyuck never learnt. "Don't listen to him."

Mark laughs pleasantly, "Don't worry 'bout it. And I'm not committing any crime with him, any federal charges is upon him and him only."

"Betrayers, you fucks," Donghyuck spits out with barely any bite to it. Mark merely laughs harder while Jeno pats Donghyuck on the back good-assuredly, silently passing him another shot of vodka. Donghyuck knew he missed him for a reason.

The party resumes in the background with whirls of conversations passing them by; he bumps fists with those he's familiar with, briefly introducing Mark and bringing forth the surprise of Jeno's return. At the back of Donghyuck's mind, deeply buried (or as hard as he could), there's the presence of the one person roaming somewhere in this place. Half of him wants to continue the night without ever crossing paths if possible.

The other half...Donghyuck doesn't even want to think about it.

They move to the porch where it's quieter and the booming bass of the electronic music can't reach them, it's merely a faraway noise. Each of them is nursing an alcoholic drink and Donghyuck can already see Mark slowly slipping under while Jeno remains strong-willed with his third beer of the night. It's practically empty out here with tightly formed groups just lingering around in whispered solidarity. Donghyuck gets hit with the revelation that it's mostly the party crowd sharpening the edges of a headache and so, he sighs in relief.

The alcohol has buzzed his head enough so he loosens himself against the rare, swaying breeze. Every single time he's away from this place, he misses it like no other and yet here he is again with a weird sense of nostalgia settling in. It must be the graduation nerves, Donghyuck decides.

Donghyuck observes, all the while sipping on another can of beer, the way Jeno joins their conversations seamlessly and how that spark of interest Mark had in his gaze prior shifts to Jeno when he talks about the city. Despite being born there and all, there's something hypnotising about Jeno's words, or his voice, as Mark visibly falls into it, inching closer and closer. Donghyuck abruptly turns away from the conversation with a smile hidden away at the transparency of Mark's expressions. The boy's even worse under the influence of alcohol.

"Jeno darling!"

Every single nerve in Donghyuck stiffens at the voice interrupting their time of tranquility. His mind goes off similarly to an alarm signaling the dooming end of the world. Jeno turns around, the very same smile he greeted Donghyuck with is brought upon his face once more at the sight of the very unwanted intruder.

Jaemin plops himself down on the second last step of the porch, right next to Donghyuck, and brushes his elbow against the latter. Whether it be unconsciously or purposely, Donghyuck whips his head around to shoot him a glare but of course, Jaemin has his eyes fixated on Jeno, way past him. That annoying upward tug of his lips, the glowing flush of alcohol in his veins seen clearly on his cheeks, Donghyuck glares lasers into the side of Jaemin's face.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Jaemin exclaims, decidedly ignoring Donghyuck as his eyes shift to Mark next to Jeno. "And _you_ ," his voice drops a pitch lower, edging on sultry. "I haven't met you yet. I'm Jaemin."

Mark startles at the sudden scrutiny Jaemin has him under. Donghyuck barely reins in the urge to roll his eyes and chooses to lean back on his elbows, cutting in before Mark can say anything, "His name is Mark and he's not fucking interested in assholes so you can head back to whatever hell you're from."

Jaemin turns to face Donghyuck like as if discovering his presence there for the first time since he stepped out onto the porch. His expression dulls to a blank as he tilts his head at Donghyuck, all traces of amiability ebbing away. Donghyuck holds his ground with an equally non-committal look, two can play the game definitely.

And Donghyuck isn't one to back down.

"If he's not interested in assholes," Jaemin's tone is icy, degrees away from the warmth he was carrying in his voice. A slow smile breaks apart on his face, still lacking anything pleasant directed at Donghyuck. "Why is he friends with you?"

"Wow, I really underestimated you two," Jeno says, cutting through the thickening tension in the atmosphere. Donghyuck barely remembers their audience with the intensity of Jaemin's hatred lashing out against him and vice versa. "I thought becoming an adult would've matured both of you."

"Please direct your lecture on maturity to _him_ ," Donghyuck rolls his eyes this time but Jaemin ignores him as he goes on. "I'm just making friends!"

"Yeah right, 'making friends'," Donghyuck adds sarcastically. "I'm not about to let you corrupt my best friend."

"Uh," Mark pipes up, looking around with his eyebrows raised. He glances at Jaemin and offers an unsure smile, "I had no idea it was this bad between you two but like– "

"It's fucking childish," Jeno interrupts, darting an apologetic glance at Mark but the latter merely shrugs and takes a long sip of his drink. "Will you ever change?"

The question is directed at both of them, Donghyuck didn't think Jeno was actually asking for an answer but his face grows expectant in increasing impatience and what is Donghyuck meant to say? That he fucking hates Na Jaemin with every single fibre in his body? That as long as he breathes, he never wants Jaemin to take a single one? That nothing will ever change between them, unless the stars fall and the sky is burst into flames?

"Why don't you ask him?" Jaemin nods at Donghyuck, his eyes blazing. He gets up to his feet a little unsteadily and for some reason, Donghyuck almost reaches out with a hand to.. to... "As far as I live, this will never change."

It's the wrong-footed resoluteness to Jaemin's voice that triggers another spark of fire within Donghyuck, slicking against the deeply rooted fury in his chest. They bring out the worst in each other, always have, always will. There's words sharpening at the tip of his tongue but Jaemin leaves as swiftly as he came, taking the summer breeze with him, leaving Donghyuck in sweltering heat.

* * *

When Donghyuck was ten, he met a boy.

There is a home right on the outskirts of the city, a perfectly quaint and dainty house with a ten-minute walk to the beach. Flower beds of sunflowers and asters bloom prettily to the tune of the spring breeze, shine at their utter brightest under the ray of the sun, lose colour in the fall and wilt in the grey of winter. Donghyuck's memories of the home were mostly of his grandmother humming around, pampering her beloved gardens, carrying the scent of spring wherever she went even in the wintry days.

Time became a hard-bent foe, racing against the odds of living and soon, old age took her away. Burying her in a pretty casket for all to say their last goodbyes. Donghyuck was too young then to know the meaning of grief, to liken the hollowness of his chest to such a word. He did, however, lay the petals of her favourite flowers to guide her way to the stars while his mother pulled the remaining weeds in the gardens to make way for marigolds.

The house was then abandoned for a bit, days became cloudy and he unconsciously missed the person his grandmother embodied to him even if he wasn't close to her. His mother ended up inheriting the home – it was the least of everyone's worries and his mother achieved her dream though at the expense of a tragedy. Donghyuck could see that she was split between joy and grief, at the prospect of decorating this home as theirs and dusting the ghosts within away. And like as if the stars were starting to align, his father secured a higher position at his company, leaving him with more flexibility for holidays. That meant a proper summer home for his mother and the newest Playstation for Donghyuck.

Not like he was complaining really. At a tender age of ten, he hardly had anything else to care about.

In the first week of moving in, Donghyuck greeted the house with a barrel straight through the cat flap, or tried to really. He hadn't realised how much he had grown since, he barely squeezed through and met the empty walls with a beam. Summers here were usually only a week long, or at most, a week and a half with how much workload his father had. With the new position, he was allowed clearance and an option to move the workload to home if needed.

Thus, Donghyuck looked forward to this albeit the lingering ghosts in the house (which he waved at with a murmured hello), to the sunny days on the beach for three months straight, to building memories of every birthday celebrated in this town. It was like a dream away from the bustling city.

It took a few days of decorating the home adequately to his mother’s taste, running around in the backyard when the two adults banished him away from making more of a mess, until Donghyuck noticed the family next door. Or more accurately, the stranger peeking over the bush in the gardens.

For all his trips here, he had never ventured anywhere else. There was always regular beach days, Donghyuck had faint memories of padding along wet sand with the sun beating down his neck. He barely had any interaction with the neighbourhood, the same went for his parents as they treated the home as a rest stop for a singular week before crashing back into the buzzing streets of the city, sucked into the never-ending mechanism.

Like any ten-year-old boy, he mildly hoped that the family had a same-age son or the likes so that he could have a friend easily for the long haul.

Donghyuck spoke too soon, he realised.

With his growing curiosity and sizzling courage Donghyuck dusted any remnants of grass off his shorts and inched closer to the stranger who wasn't subtle at all in their art of observing Donghyuck through the gaps of the leaves. Sure enough, there was a boy, confirming his earlier suspicion. A little taller than Donghyuck, not that he minded at the moment. He couldn’t even properly see his face because he was half obscured from view but then as soon as the boy resurfaced, properly, Donghyuck had a sharp intake of breath.

“Who are you?” the boy asked, voice pitched high and shy. Donghyuck stared at him for a moment, not properly registering the question, still a little dazed from the sight.

Donghyuck wanted to learn his name.

“I'm your new neighbour,” Donghyuck said once he found his voice, nodding to his house behind him. Tilting his head, he assessed the boy further curiously. “My name is Donghyuck.”

"What happened to the old lady here?"

A lump formed in Donghyuck's throat, "She passed."

The boy's gaze softened with the pretty blink of his dark lashes against his cheeks, the light frown of his lips. Donghyuck had never seen a boy so pretty in his life, sure he's friends with Huang Renjun, but this boy had a certain grace to how he carried himself. Perhaps it was a facade, and Donghyuck was well on his way to finding that out soon. He hoped anyway.

And the boy took a step closer to Donghyuck, further revealing himself. Donghyuck couldn't look away, can never look away from the sparkle of the boy's eyes, the sweet pink of his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he said gingerly. Even from a stranger, it still felt like a rush of warmth and Donghyuck nodded, the lump growing in his throat, constricting his gratitude but it seemed like the boy understood. He merely tilted his head, the frown slipping into mirrored curiosity. "My name is Jaemin, by the way."

"Oh," was all Donghyuck said, putting a name to the pretty face. “It's nice to meet you," remembering his manners from all of his mother's lectures, he plastered on a smile – one that he wore often to those business dinners with his father, though the corners of his mouth softened a bit. Just a little. “I hope we could be friends this summer."

The boy – Jaemin raised an eyebrow at that but a smile grew on his lips, further blindsiding Donghyuck. If he thought Jaemin was pretty, this was another sight altogether with the corners of Jaemin's mouth curling softly, digging into the apples of his cheeks, personifying the sun right on his face.

"Please," Jaemin nodded with an enthusiasm that Donghyuck felt similarly. He rolled his eyes, "My brother is too young to play games with me so I'm always alone."

Donghyuck leaned forward, interest sparked further. It was indeed the question of the hour, the dream of every kid's childhood.

"What games do you play?"

The light burst out of Jaemin as he grew more enthused at the prompted question by Donghyuck. He rambled on and on about the many games he knew and loved; Playstation (which Donghyuck practically yelped in joy at), board games that he found dusting away in the closet of the family home, and physical games he made up to entertain himself through the summer.

His curiosity was piqued so he questioned about them, closing the distance between them. Jaemin grew even more comfortable as he described in detail about the days where no one wanted to pay him a single cent of attention and all he had was the game controller and chirping crickets. Just like Donghyuck, he loved the beach but loneliness was a realer affliction when he gazed upon harmonious children playing.

A lightbulb sparked Jaemin as he jumped on the heels of his feet and tugged Donghyuck around the gardens, launching into an explanation on his makeshift game of finding ladybugs and setting them free in the heart of the flowers.

Donghyuck hardly protested, so terribly endeared by the long slew of stories leaving Jaemin’s mouth.

"My mother told me that ladybugs get their food here," Jaemin pointed to the glowing stigma of the marigolds. Donghyuck shuffled closer to observe the small ladybug they found crawling along the branch of the tree. True to his word, the ladybug dipped into the center of the flower, nestling the nectar located there.

Donghyuck reached out to nudge the ladybug lightly on the shell, smiling gently. "It feels like a pet."

"Our very own first pet ladybug!" Jaemin exclaimed and then grimaced so suddenly, eyes frantically watching Donghyuck with a hint of nerves. Donghyuck tilted his head in wonder and Jaemin muttered, a little shy, a little embarrassed. "Is that too much? I can be too much sometimes, my brother said."

"I say, don't listen to your bro," Donghyuck tutted. He bumped his shoulder against Jaemin's playfully, crinkling his eyes in delight. Nodding towards the ladybugs, "We can have pet ladybugs and play some Playstation. Isn't that what friends do?"

The smile that erased the hints of uncertainty on Jaemin's face was one to rival the brightness of the summer sun and Donghyuck found that he didn't mind; would burn the retinas of his eyes staring at him.

Donghyuck had never been able to look at sunflowers the same after his grandmother's passing, but with Jaemin's presence in his life, flitting into the space of the shared gardens between the two houses so effortlessly, he reveled in the thought of the boy resembling the sunny yellow flowers. With that contagious smile and cheery personality that matched Donghyuck's energy, the absence of those sunflowers was restored.

Like every budding friendship between two young boys, they spent a lot of time running around, exercising their lungs and falling into shared laughter over the smallest, amusing things. The ladybugs ate well under their supervision and the shared gardens became a form of escapism for them, with their imaginations wilding away when combined. The heat almost never bothered them, bronzing their skin, the summer breeze carried their childish innocence into the air.

He learnt a lot about Jaemin, that he’s a city boy just like himself, he loves the seaside just as much and sometimes, his mind gets away from him when he’s alone. Donghyuck hardly felt a semblance of a special bond with someone, he had only a small handful of friends back home, but with Jaemin, it felt like the universe crafted the perfect half to his soul, filling in the hollowness of his chest with that light. Like his very own sunflower that summer.

Donghyuck was glad that he had a friend this summer. He was very glad that he had Jaemin by his side.

  
  


* * *

Ten finds him in the corner of the living room, shrouded by the shadows, making stupid bad decisions. The half-empty bottle of tequila in Donghyuck's hand being the biggest contender.

The older boy stands there for a second, eyeing the bottle in Donghyuck's hand with light judgment, before fixing Donghyuck with a look. “Should I be concerned?” he asks rhetorically.

Donghyuck waves him away but at that slight motion, he stumbles forward. Ten catches him easily and tuts at him in a chiding manner, lecturing into his ears on the safety of drinking at these parties and _when will he ever learn?_

The truth is: Donghyuck is incapable of taking care of himself, he's a terribly serious masochist that dips into the deepest waters without a single regard for his health. Which explains the traces of alcohol drowned in his veins. Donghyuck can't unlearn his bad habits, not when they keep him afloat.

He lets himself be led away from the corner however (because he has little fight in him to protest) and into a bedroom upstairs where Ten tells him in a stern voice to stay still as he fetches a pitcher of water for him. Before he leaves, the bottle of tequila is snatched away from him and Donghyuck lets out a pained whine.

“That's my only salvation!” Donghyuck moans dramatically. “Give it back.”

Ten shakes his head at Donghyuck, gesturing over at him, at his crumpled state on the bed. Donghyuck isn't even sure whose bedroom he is in and the lights hurt his eyes too much for him to look around properly.

“You're a mess and you're going to lie down here quietly,” Ten says but his expression softens quickly enough when he leans over to fix Donghyuck's hair. He can't imagine how much of a mess he must've looked for Ten to do that: he's only indulgent when someone is pitiful but Donghyuck doesn't want to be pitied.

The door closes behind Ten quietly, shutting off all the noise to the ongoing party downstairs, or as much anyway. Donghyuck reckons he can still feel the bass booming through the walls but it's less aggravating and he follows Ten's advice by attempting to lie down. The attempt falls short quickly when he realises how much his head is pounding.

Donghyuck ponders on the consequences of leaving this room to head down to the bathroom on the end of the hallway, he needs a little clearance and maybe a splash of water will help. It's what he does sometimes to ease the pounding a little and even that would help at this case in point.

He takes the risk and finds his way to the bathroom just to notice that it's locked. Slamming a fist against the door, Donghyuck feels so weak from the physical exertion, he shouts, “Open up fucker!”

The moment the door wrenches open before his eyes, Donghyuck immediately regrets. Everything. Coming down to this party, drinking that much alcohol, _living_. It's like the universe has a sick sense of humour to be playing these tricks on Donghyuck and leaving him with no way out.

Na Jaemin stands before him in his glory, blonde hair in a disarray. Up close and with alcohol running through his veins, Donghyuck can't ever escape from the truth: Jaemin is hot. And infuriatingly so. Unbeknownst to him, Donghyuck runs his tongue over his bottom lip and Jaemin catches onto that action.

“What are you doing here?” Donghyuck asks stupidly, still staring.

Jaemin quirks an eyebrow at that, and Donghyuck reels himself back from... doing stupider things. "What do you do in a bathroom, Lee?"

There's a several answers to that question but Donghyuck does the most logical course of action; he shoves Jaemin back into the bathroom and locks the door behind him swiftly. Jaemin doesn't protest, and isn't that the most infuriating about him? He takes everything from Donghyuck readily, steadily and all Donghyuck's left with is his hatred for the boy.

"Ah, is this what you do in a bathroom?" Jaemin teases, eyes glittering in amusement, lips crookedly tugged upwards in a smirk. He's trapped in between the counter and Donghyuck's body but he doesn't look like he's going to run away at any point of time. He's so pliant, so at _ease_ that Donghyuck feels like his mind will burst with all these implications.

Donghyuck wants nothing more than to slap that smirk off, bite onto his bottom lip so hard till it bleeds, and he's overwhelmed with that urge to just throw all caution to the wind. Everything about Jaemin is a danger to his system, he's never in his right state of mind around the boy which then, leads him to making the worst decisions.

The blonde boy is the whole reason why Donghyuck picked that bottle of tequila up in the kitchen, unknown to any of his friends. After sitting out in the porch for a bit, Mark had excused himself to a bathroom break. In the midst of aimless conversations, Jeno had pointed out that Mark was gone for way longer than normal and of course, the usual concern spiked up in Donghyuck, seeing as this is indeed Mark's first party in town and he hardly knows anyone.

When Donghyuck made his way around the house, in search for his best friend, he hadn't expected to see Mark lounging lazily on a couch next to Jaemin with his arm around Mark's shoulders, their faces open in laughter and happiness. It burned the retinas of Donghyuck's eyes to witness such a moment, to see Jaemin leaning in to lightly peck at Mark's cheek which caused the latter to blush furiously, the shyness in his body language. It was a classic Jaemin move: making people smile and feel special for the night to then be discarded away.

Donghyuck has seen enough to know that Mark clearly likes Jaemin and vice versa, and it shouldn't concern him in any way but who's to deny the overflowing green ivy drowning his thoughts out? He never thought it was possible to feel such a sharp pain in his chest, he couldn't comprehend anything afterwards. The bottle of tequila was right there and he merely took a sip after another, another, another.

Everything else was history.

Thus, it's mostly his inability to make sound decisions that pushes him forward, closing a fist around the fabric of Jaemin's shirt and dragging him forward. The distance between them is a hair's breath and in this small space, Donghyuck is dizzy by everything Jaemin, like he's been doused in sobriety only to be reminded of Jaemin's existence right in front of his very eyes.

"Do you have better suggestions?" Donghyuck raises an eyebrow but all Jaemin does in response is giving a slow smile and tugging Donghyuck's hand forward to lightly squeeze his clothed boner. At that, it's like he didn't expect it; Jaemin's head is thrown back, further exposing the slope of his neck, mouth open in a low moan when Donghyuck continues to massage over his boner, increasing friction.

"I – _ah_ , I think this is – God, _Donghyuck,_ " Jaemin gasps out his name when Donghyuck pries the button of his skinny jeans open and drags the zipper down all too slowly, worsening the agony Jaemin is in.

The thud of Donghyuck's knees hitting the tiled floor resonates in the bathroom. Jaemin leans back into the counter and lifts a hand to tuck a few loose hair strands behind his ear. There's a smile hidden away in the corner of his mouth, a little too soft to be discerned as anything else, but too vulnerable to be perceived by Donghyuck right now and he doesn't want to lest his heart mixes ideas into his mind. This is already far unreasonable and self-indulgent, Donghyuck can't have himself living in more delusions.

It's almost insane how this thing between them goes unspoken; Donghyuck pulls Jaemin's cock out of his pants, lightly fists it and watches the way the flick of his wrist tears Jaemin apart so easily.

Donghyuck grazes his teeth along Jaemin's thigh, causing the latter to snap his eyes open and shoot a warning look down at him. The former merely says, voice low and demanding, "Keep your eyes on me, Na."

Jaemin visibly swallows, his hand creeping up to rake through Donghyuck's unruly hair, tightening his grip there. At that pull, Donghyuck hisses and bites harder at the flesh of Jaemin's thigh. A spurt of precum shoots out as Jaemin moans, low and gritty, echoing off the walls.

"You're such a fucking bitch," Jaemin exhales sharply.

Donghyuck looks up through his lashes and tilts his head at the mess he's made of the boy without a single touch. "Why? What do you want, Jaemin? Hmm?" He leans in, nosing along Jaemin's inner thigh, kissing his words into the soft skin there. "Tell me what do you need."

Jaemin has his hand sunken down in Donghyuck's hair and he tugs on the strands so hard that Donghyuck's vision almost whites out from the pain and pleasure mixed. He feels his head guided towards Jaemin's cock, the reddened, hard cock jutting out towards him. Donghyuck subconsciously gulps at the sight once more, feels his throat dry, and if there's ever a sobering thought, it's Jaemin pulling him in desperately, his grip on Donghyuck's hair edging on pain.

"Just fucking get down to it, will you?"

"No," Donghyuck shakes his head, stubborn in his teasing. He can count on one hand he's had Jaemin so utterly powerless, entirely reduced to a mess at his expense, and he wants to drag it on as much as he can.

Jaemin looks debauched already, eyes wild, and his voice is hoarse from overwhelming desire. "I-I need you to touch me, Donghyuck." At the mention of his name, uttered so breathlessly, Donghyuck feels his resolve weaken. "Fuck, I just want you, _please, pl–_ "

His words are cut off halfway, drawn out in a startled moan, when Donghyuck wraps his lips around the head of Jaemin's cock. Sucking lightly, licking incessantly at the touch of precum there, Donghyuck loses himself in the taste of Jaemin, his scent enveloping him wholly. His hands dig into Jaemin's thighs and in the back of his mind, he hopes that there's imprints of his touches bruised on that soft, lightly tanned skin.

"Donghyuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," then, a long string of profanities leaves Jaemin's lips in bursts of soft moans as Donghyuck swallows him fully. The head of his cock is slightly poking Donghyuck's throat, risking his gag reflex, but he slowly relaxes his throat to accommodate Jaemin's length. "Fuck, you're so good, darling, Yes, exactly, like that," Jaemin says incoherently, eyes intently watching Donghyuck swallowing around his length.

Donghyuck falls into a mindless motion of pulling long sucks and meeting Jaemin's thrusts as he slowly fucks Donghyuck's face. He's restraining so much, Donghyuck can tell, by the way his hips stutter on a particularly long suck, with a graze of Donghyuck's teeth on his skin. Donghyuck flits his eyes upwards, meeting Jaemin's half-lidded gaze, with tears springing to the corners, and taps incessantly on Jaemin's thigh in encouragement to be rougher.

Jaemin blinks at Donghyuck, at the implication, and ceases movement suddenly. Donghyuck, growing incredibly frustrated, pulls off his cock and swirls his tongue around the head in insistent licks. "Do it baby," Donghyuck whispers, his lips plush against the slit of Jaemin's cock.

With Donghyuck's encouragement, Jaemin slants his hips forward in a sharp thrust, taking Donghyuck by surprise but he takes it well, nodding along the length of his cock. The burn of Jaemin's cock hitting the back of his throat causes more tears to spring up to his eyes and Donghyuck feels his own cock thickening in response, sliding his thighs further open. Jaemin's hand on his hair is tightened to no return and his head is thrown back, lips parted to let out groans gritty against the walls of the bathroom.

Donghyuck has never felt so filthy and this is what he wants: to reduce Jaemin to a debauched mess, to be the one delivering that orgasm to him, to make him remember this moment in this skimpy, small bathroom when he looks back on this night. Not his best friend, not Jeno, not the alcohol, just Lee Donghyuck and his mouth and the thin line between their enmity stretching beyond reason.

A part of him, a huge part of him, knows that this is all he's got. And they're no strangers to this. Donghyuck has seen Jaemin like this countlessly in small, dark spaces where secrets run high and the scent of arousal is nothing but a familiar friend now. It's the only time where Jaemin openly looks at him like this, eyes shrouded in desire, lips spilling out his name and not _Lee._ Tender touches where it shouldn't be. If Donghyuck wasn't sober earlier, he is now, eyes filled with tears, choking on Jaemin's cock, as he wishes for this to last far more than just a quickie in a bathroom.

But Donghyuck knows, this is all he's got.

(Perhaps he will have to deal with consequences regarding his deceiving heart.)

  
  


* * *

The next summer, the sun turned grey.

Donghyuck remembered the flowers wilting in the garden, the sight of dead leaves dimming the excitement in him for a second, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. His mother had prepared for this; she brought more gardening tools and seeds to plant despite his father's request to properly hire a gardener. Just like the fire of resoluteness running through his veins, his own mother was the exact same: putting her foot down with a stern glare that rendered his father speechless. If Donghyuck had known any better, he would have been impressed.

On the first day back, he had a skip in his step as he approached the summer house. His mother glanced at him then, smiling softly at the show of elation in her son, "Looking forward to this summer, Hyuckie?"

There were many reasons for the high of his bliss, clearly shown in the apples of his cheeks, some of which could be easily deduced: he was turning eleven in a few days, he had a new video game to try out, the beach always. Though, what his mother didn't know was that the major reason for Donghyuck's excitement this summer was a boy.

Not just any boy, _Na Jaemin._

To be honest, Donghyuck wasn't sure why he hadn't shared the details of his friendship with the boy next door with his parents. He was hardly a secretive child, always blabbering about the newest things he discovered day by day, sometimes too much to the point of tiring them out. And maybe, that's the reason why he hadn't told his folks: he wanted to keep Na Jaemin to himself, a lovely, pretty secret friend.

They did spend the whole summer last year meeting in the gardens between their houses (Donghyuck under the guise of planting flowers and staying out of his parents’ way of fixing the house up), briefly entertaining the idea of playing in the sand together. Jaemin had smiled softly and promised a beach day for the next time, making Donghyuck giddy all over at the thought of scavenging around for seashells with him.

To say that he was anticipating this summer was an understatement.

He waited until his parents moved away from the living room, calling out to Donghyuck to remind him to unpack his bags for the last time. With an uttered promise to do so, he quietly padded towards the door leading to the backyard, slowly shutting the door behind him with his heart beating loudly in his chest. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t tell his parents about Jaemin, he would soon enough, it was inevitable with the summers ahead of them.

His gaze immediately swept over the house next door, the bedroom window on the second floor where Jaemin once told him that it was his room. Alas, the window was ajar with a familiar-looking boy sitting by the sill, gaze averted to something else on his lap. It was too far for Jaemin to notice Donghyuck and so, he leaned as much as he could over the gated fence and whistled lightly to catch the other boy’s attention.

Jaemin paused, then flitted his gaze over to the gardens where Donghyuck smiled and waved at him. The blankness on his expression didn’t dissipate even at the sight of Donghyuck and something else crept over his heart, something akin to fear. Donghyuck didn’t move away however, and maintained his smile, trying to replace that heaviness in his chest with misplaced confusion and hope.

“Hey, when did you get here?” Donghyuck starts rambling because the gaze Jaemin had him pinned under was turning uncomfortable. His eyes were devoid of any familiarity and kindness; it was like he was faced with a stranger, but he knew that face anywhere. Even in the darkness, he could recognise Jaemin solely by memory. “I have a new game I want to try out with you but first, should we check the ladybugs?”

“You’re a Lee, aren’t you?”

Donghyuck blinked. There was a hint of malice in his voice and Donghyuck had never thought a child could look this condescending but there Jaemin was, with a look of pure disdain and revulsion on his face. Jaemin tilted his chin upwards, like as if the distance between them wasn’t enough to make him feel smaller. The purse of his lips lessened into a frown and that narrowed gaze – it maintained.

The hope in Donghyuck's heart simmered away like the last of the breeze in summer.

“You can't exactly expect me to be seen with you,” Jaemin sneered, giving a sweeping look over Donghyuck, his gaze fixated on the distressed jeans and the mud stain at the hem of Donghyuck's t-shirt. Making a tsk noise, “I'd be embarrassing myself then.”

His words froze Donghyuck over, startling him out of the temporary idealistic imagery he founded of them being friends during the summers. Hot tears pricked at the back of his eyes and Donghyuck bit the inside of his cheek. Blinking the tears away, he refocused his gaze on Jaemin, disbelieving the words uttered, but there was no mistaking that look of hostility.

Lips parted, Donghyuck felt at a loss.

The last summer felt so far away: it _was_ and now, instead of a lightness in his heart, all he could feel was this heavy weight, the smoke of this betrayal congesting his chest, choking up to his throat. All promises of lying under the sun and walking by the seaside died right there and then.

He watched the way Jaemin turned his head away, decisive on his rejection, firm in his utter conceit. His tongue turned into lead and his throat dried up. Donghyuck refused to back down, the same stubborn fire burning in his veins, not knowing when to stop.

And so, he picked the sword where Jaemin left it, laid messily across the lawn, and made his aim with equally icy words. “Of course, what would I expect from a good-for-nothing jerk? Bet you don't even know the first thing about friendship.”

It was low from Donghyuck, the boy using Jaemin’s insecurities against him, but he could only see red, could only focus on the pure fury blazing inside of him. If he hesitated a single second, the pain from Jaemin’s words would turn him into a weakling and that was the last thing he wanted. This was his summer too, there was no way that Jaemin could stomp all over their friendship like it was nothing.

That dug the sword in and Jaemin turned his narrow-eyed stare into a glare. Donghyuck merely huffed, spinning around on his heel and ignoring the way Jaemin called after him, a dagger thrown at his back, “Rich coming from the likes of you. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You look like the very definition of a loser!”

Donghyuck refused to get it to him but once he stormed back to his house, passing his parents in the hallway (he ignored their inquisitive gazes), he locked the door of his bedroom behind him and sat down on his hands. And bit his lip in an attempt to not surrender to the inevitable flood of tears.

What was it about him that Jaemin suddenly deemed unworthy? What was last summer even? Why the sudden animosity? Jaemin’s words spun in his mind and Donghyuck never felt smaller than he had in that moment. The nerve of him – honestly, Donghyuck was merely trying for the first time in his life and this was where it got him. In the empty space of his bedroom, in a town where he didn't know anyone else, forced to spend three months withering away under the intense heat.

He did look in the mirror then and for a split second, he agreed with Jaemin. The grass stuck in his hair, the stubborn stain of mud on his t-shirt, the tears welled up in his eyes. In that singular moment, Donghyuck crumbled under heavy scrutiny and thought, _I am indeed a loser._

The first sunny day was a thunderous, dark day for Donghyuck and he felt cold to the skin, Jaemin’s words striking every exposed bit of skin. He hadn’t wanted to know how Jaemin looked when angered, didn’t need to memorise the furrow of his eyebrows, the viscous snarl to his mouth.

And it was like the universe wanted to punish him because when Donghyuck closed his eyes, all he saw was the light of last summer, the kindness of Jaemin’s gaze at him, the excitement in the upward tug of his lips. It was torturous, tearing Donghyuck apart for he had lost the only flame he knew and wanted.

As he curled up into the sheets of his long forgotten bed, the tears fell and it was all because of one stupid, mean boy. Donghyuck choked on his own tears, streaming down his cheeks, staining the pillowcase, and felt the pang of rejection deep in his bones. He wanted to hate Na Jaemin so badly but his mind was plagued with all the smiles and ladybugs like a painful dream of what he had.

“Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck groaned and turned his face further into his pillows. He would stay here all summer if he could, no sunny beach days, no running around in the garden (he wasn’t sure if he could even face it after that), no stepping out into the streets. It was highly shameful that he had been reduced to this mess but with his nerves going haywire at the mere thought of crossing paths with Jaemin, he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t control himself for the consequences that might occur at the sight of the other boy.

The door creaked open, revealing his mother’s concerned face. It deepened in the wrinkles around her mouth, the lines ringing her eyes, at the sight of Donghyuck cocooned in his blankets on a late afternoon. She casted a glance back and closed the door behind her, heading straight towards the mess of blankets on the bed. With a careful hand, she managed to pry the sheets off Donghyuck, revealing him further to his own mother, revealing his tear-streaked cheeks.

Her face fell and she immediately pulled Donghyuck into her arms, the latter leaning into her touch without a single protest. All the crying had taken the fight out of Donghyuck and to be truthful, a part of him (a huge part) was seeking for some warmth. He shuddered in his mother’s embrace, letting out a sigh.

"What were you crying about, honey?"

Donghyuck startled despite himself at the sound of her voice, but his mother soothed him further, running her fingers through her hair like as if he was five years old again. She did that sometimes, babying him and holding him close to her chest. The years of growing up into this teenager didn't halt her indulgent ways and Donghyuck, abashed, admitted that he felt very much seen.

"Nothing," but Donghyuck knew better than to lie. He took a glance at his mother's face and it was clear that she knew there was something else, something more. "It's just... the boy next door... he was mean towards me."

"Ah, the Na's?" his mother said and Donghyuck nodded, uncertain. "I wouldn't be too concerned about them, honey, they're a rotten bunch."

“You know them?”

His mother chuckled, lightly sweeping his fringe out of his eyes. “Our families have been at each other’s throats for decades, only your gran didn’t bother to care in her old age, but the enmity had gone on for a long time.” Her tone had a hint of assurance to it, “I wouldn’t worry about him, dear, wouldn’t want you around such a bad influence.”

A part of Donghyuck almost launched forward to argue against his own mother’s words but he stopped himself short. Wasn’t that what Jaemin referred to? Because Donghyuck is a Lee and Jaemin is a Na, they were never meant to be friends. Yet another part of him still held a sense of longing for that familiarity, the twin flame he found in the boy.

Donghyuck blinked upwards at his mother, hesitant in voicing out his fears, but this was his own mother, a woman with overwhelming patience and care for him no matter what. “Do...do you think I can make other friends?”

A smile grew on his mother’s lips as she patted his head, “Of course you can, you’re my baby, Donghyuck. You’re a delight to have around, you don’t need a Na boy to keep you company. Trust me.”

The hurt still simmered in him still but Donghyuck nodded, closing his eyes, his mother’s touch easing the ache in his heart. He was eleven then, reduced to the broken shards of his heart, petals of the sunflowers strewn all over the floor.

  
  


* * *

A shadow swiftly falls upon Donghyuck, the sun blocked by a singular figure that he’s been cursed to stare up at.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Na Jaemin stands before him, infuriating smirk plastered on his face, blonde hair windswept from the breeze of the sea and summer combined. It’s almost aggravating to gaze upon those alluring features up so close, Donghyuck scrunches his nose up at the unbidden thought. Jaemin isn’t pretty, not at all.

He can’t possibly change that much from the previous summers, he still is an asshole, his face is still an annoying constipated piece of work that Donghyuck wouldn’t waste two seconds on. Yet, he’s staring at the way the rays of sunlight lightly change shadows across the planes of Jaemin’s face, alighting a fire in his eyes in a whole new way. It’s different to the night before, where Donghyuck was able to fixate on the darkness instead of Jaemin.

Here, with the sun setting a halo around Jaemin, there’s no escape from the true matters of his heart.

Donghyuck is stubborn, however, and he doesn’t persist far from his grudges, standing his ground wherever he is.

“Gracing you with my presence, of course,” Jaemin smirks, then he turns to Mark who is half occupied with his phone, half trying not to pay attention to the ongoing animosity between Donghyuck and Jaemin. “I’ve missed your face, pretty boy.”

Mark almost loses grip on his phone as he looks up, surprised, eyes widening when he realises that Jaemin is patiently waiting for his response. “Who? Me?”

Jaemin’s smirk softens into a light chuckle and he nods, looking far endeared than Donghyuck liked. “Yes, you’re the pretty boy, Mark Lee.”

Donghyuck has seen Mark blush at the expense of other people many a times in his life but never has he seen this dark crimson so deeply embedded on his cheeks, exposed nape and tips of his ears. Something stirs in the depths of his being, a sour, acid taste lingering on his tongue at the sight of Jaemin leaning forward to brush his knuckles lightly against Mark’s reddened cheeks with a soft uttered praise of him being cute.

“Na, don’t you have better things to do?” Donghyuck hisses, barely holding himself back from… throwing a punch at Jaemin’s stupidly satisfied smile. Yeah, a punch will do him in but there’s too many people at the beach and he’s sure that whilst their enmity isn’t news to most and especially his own folks, he will still suffer reprimanding for not being _polite_. Like that fucking matters when it comes to assholes like Jaemin.

“Yeah, I do,” Jaemin concedes, throwing Donghyuck off guard and even more when he turns to Mark with an outstretched hand. “Want to surf with me? I’ve got an extra board.”

Mark stares at the hand offered to him and rubs at his blushing nape, stammering. “Uh.. not sure about that. I can’t exactly surf…”

Jaemin merely cracks a wider smile, “No problem. I’ll teach you.”

“Why the fuck are you hitting my best friend up?” Donghyuck’s voice turns a notch higher, gaining the attention of the group of ladies beside them on the sand. He barely throws an apologetic look at them before fixating a glare on Jaemin. If looks could fucking kill, Jaemin will be a sunken, dried up corpse on this beach in a second.

Jaemin lifts an eyebrow but before he could say anything, Mark beats him to it, grabbing onto his hand and standing up from his spot. Donghyuck’s throat dries up and he’s rendered speechless by the blatant display of betrayal by his best friend. He knew he should’ve brought Renjun instead of this soft-hearted, kind Mark Lee who could never say no to anyone, let alone a prett- _God damn it!_ Jaemin isn’t fucking pretty. Case in point, Renjun wouldn’t dare to do this to him: he’d plot Jaemin’s murder alongside him.

“Listen, I’ll go for a surf and you can have your peace, Hyuck,” Mark smiles with forced assurance but Donghyuck doesn’t care anymore, he’s glaring daggers at both of them. “Unless you want to jo– ”

“Save it,” Donghyuck gets up from the beach towels they laid down. This was supposed to be a perfect, beach day of staying out in the sun, barely shielded by the umbrellas and sunscreen all over their bodies. Now, everything’s ruined as usual, due to a damn Na Jaemin. He’d consider convincing his parents to find another summer home if it wasn’t for the lone fact that this was an inherent home.

He brushes the grains of sand sticking to his shorts, thinks better of it and ends up swiping them towards Jaemin. The sand lands on Jaemin in a dust, making him stumble back hastily at the attack. Donghyuck snarls at him before turning on his heel to head far from the seaside. Maybe, if he’s far enough, he won’t be able to witness the idiocy that is his best friend mixed with his enemy. He knows he basically has zero power over Mark’s decisions but it doesn’t stop him from cussing him out every chance he gets.

The snack shack is situated a little farther up the beach and Donghyuck may not feel all too hungry, still full from the heavy breakfast his mother cooked, but he’s all for the distraction a few sugary snacks will bring him. There isn’t much of a selection, the snacks differ slightly from his favourites back home, but he’s used to the limited variety here, having found his own replacements over the years.

Just as Donghyuck settles on a pack of sweetened almonds, a voice catches his attention.

“Darling, what are you frowning at?”

Donghyuck turns towards the source of the voice, to find a handsome boy manning the shack all by himself. Immediately drawn to the piercing on the boy’s eyebrow, a spark of interest grows in Donghyuck. He’s new, figures, there has been a few new faces lately but that’s even more perfect for no strings attached and it’s exactly what Donghyuck needs from this place. Leaning in, a smirk spreads on Donghyuck’s lips as his eyes flit over the flush deepening on the boy’s cheeks at his reciprocating attention. Adorable.

“Not anymore, now that I’ve got you to stare at.”

The boy cocks an eyebrow, chuckling to himself. “You know, I’ve been warned about you. Ten is one of my closest friends here.”

“Damn, warning you of my good looks, I presume?”

His chuckle turns into a full blown laugh and Donghyuck lets the satisfaction seep into his smirk. The shack boy shakes his head at Donghyuck, “You are indeed as they say; shameless.” Then, he leans forward too, lessening the distance between them, making Donghyuck’s breath hitch a little. “I’m Dejun, so now, you wanna tell me what you’re frowning about or?”

In the corner of his eye, Donghyuck can still pinpoint Mark’s figure by the seaside, teasing the waters with a boy he despises with every fibre in his body. The frown creeps back in and he turns to Dejun, twirling his pair of sunglasses in hand, “Hypothetically, how much does it cost to take a life out?”

Dejun hums, unaffected by the mention of murder, Donghyuck is starting to like this dude. “Depends on their worth. Which one are you eyeing?”

His gaze follows Donghyuck’s and falls upon the pair on the beach, looking a little too cosy for Donghyuck’s liking. Bile rises in Donghyuck’s throat when Jaemin tugs on Mark’s hand, catching him off guard and causing him to fall forward into his chest. He forcibly tears his gaze away and meets Dejun’s inquisitive stare with a forced smile, even when every part of him is screaming to run down the sandy beach to push Jaemin into the shallow waters in hopes of him drowning.

Now, that’s a soothing thought: Na Jaemin’s body floating in the abyss of the sea, unconscious.

“Jaemin is too pretty to kill, can we waste this hypothetical murder on someone ugly?”

“He _is_ ugly,” Donghyuck grunts. “Having that sort of arrogant and pesky personality counts too.”

“Ah, are we in the mood to insult the heck out of my brother?”

Donghyuck whips his head around to find his ultimate favourite little brother, though he’s far from little now. Jisung is standing a few inches taller than him now, the nerve of younger kids growing beyond his height, it’s an abomination truly. There’s traces of amusement twinkling in his eyes as he passes the popsicle bar towards Dejun and waits for him to ring his purchase up.

“Jisung, honey, you don’t say hi to me nowadays,” Donghyuck juts his bottom lip out in mock hurt. The younger merely rolls his eyes at Donghyuck’s dramatics. “Is this what happens when you grow up? You forget your favourite older brother?”

“Firstly,” Jisung mutters a word of gratitude to Dejun when he passes the popsicle bar back. “You’re the one partying around town, how am I supposed to see you?”

“Secondly, I’m supposed to _hate_ you. It’s just a matter of time before Jaemin notices me missing and sees me with you out of all people.”

“Let him see,” Donghyuck shrugs. If the other boy has the nerve to steal his best friend from him, then he’s just as capable of playing a tug-of-war with his brother involved.

Jisung shakes his head, scoffing. “To think that I’m all grown up and you two haven’t changed a bit from before.”

“Please,” Donghyuck holds a hand up, already exasperated with the nagging voices. “Jeno has said his share the other night. Wisdom isn’t a good look on you, Ji.”

Which is mostly a lie, of course. Anything and everything looks good on Jisung, that's something that Donghyuck isn't above agreeing. The boy has grown from an awkward, timid child to a lanky, poised boy though his confidence isn't overbearing (something that his older brother could take points from). If only this runs in the Na blood and Jaemin is as appealing as his younger brother…

A voice in Donghyuck’s mind points out unnecessarily that he had perceived Jaemin as such once upon a time, but he quickly shoots it down. Jaemin was nothing like Jisung; he’s manipulative to fit other people’s box ideals of him, self-assured to a fault and persistent in his ways to irk Donghyuck endlessly even with a single peek of his presence in reality. Donghyuck doesn't have to live through summer in constant acknowledgment of the other boy, crossing paths in parties or streets is enough for him to endure but to forcibly push his way into Donghyuck’s life and no less, attempt to steal his very own best friend?

Jaemin is the very textbook definition of a menace.

They’re walking back down to the beach now, after Donghyuck has said his thanks to Dejun for giving him the almond snack on the house ( _“Thank your pretty privilege for that! Any time you need someone to make you forget about that Na boy, hit me up!”_ ). It doesn’t escape him the way he has to take two extra steps to match up to Jisung’s long-limbed, lazy stride. There should be a law somewhere for the unfairness that is being imposed on Donghyuck now, for being not as developed as Jisung had been during his pubescent days.

Jisung lightly sucks on the tip of his popsicle, “What do you suggest I do then about this childish enmity?”

"You do realise that this is something beyond us right?" Donghyuck glances at Jisung, frowning when the younger tries to kick his sand his way. "Our families despise each other."

"Your mother isn't exactly trying to sabotage our lives," at that, Donghyuck shoves Jisung away and causes him to trip on his feet. Donghyuck barely blinks at the way Jisung is struggling to keep upright with his melting popsicle after that shove. Serves him right. " _H-hEY!_ That's exactly what I mean!"

Donghyuck scoffs now, crossing his arms. "You're just too young to understand and I'm not sabotaging your brother's life. He's trying to steal my fucking best friend, would you look at him?"

"Is your best friend your property?" Jisung raises an eyebrow but the expression falls when he realises that his popsicle isn't solid as much anymore under the humid sun and so, he curses under his breath at the trickling liquid down his fingers. Spotting a trash bin nearby, he quickly disposes of it and walks back to Donghyuck with his chin raised. "Well..? Is he?"

Donghyuck stays quiet for a moment, pondering on that line of thought. Mark isn't, per say, his property of course but there's something about the whole ordeal of watching him fall for Jaemin's dirty tricks, and it's not because he wants Mark all to himself. This summer is meant to be their very last before university, before the start of something scarier than gums sticking to the underside of study desks. It's the last ride of teenagehood and Donghyuck wanted it to mean something more.

And maybe there is something lingering in the pit of his stomach when he sees Jaemin crinkling his nose in fondness, pretty gaze fixated upon Mark, not knowing what it's like to be on the other end of that sort of attention. Donghyuck literally doesn't know how to not be perceived by Jaemin as only his family rival on the same side of the street. In an alternate universe, perhaps, the Na's and the Lee's aren't meant to be fostering such an enmity beyond them and Donghyuck is the boy learning how to surf alongside Jaemin, carefree and blissful under the sun.

That's not the reality Donghyuck lives in, however, so he feeds upon the feelings of annoyance and anger and turns them on a record high. Because that's what he knows best.

"No, but I care for my friend, excuse you," Donghyuck says, his eyes flicking to the pair on the beach. Jaemin is attempting to teach Mark how to stand on the board before properly heading out into the waters and Mark is giggling at him. "I know that Jaemin is going to break his heart."

"Ouch, you have no faith at all whatsoever in my brother," Jisung mock winces but from all the years of summering here and being within close quarters, Donghyuck knows that Jisung doesn't really harbour any hard feelings towards him and has no regard for the whole ongoing family rivalry. Sometimes, Donghyuck wishes to have that sort of ignorance for it but this is on Na Jaemin for sparking it in the first place.

Jisung nods towards his right and when Donghyuck follows his line of direction, he sees a couple of teenagers playing volleyball. "I'm going to head back there, wanna join?"

Donghyuck pretends to gag, "Me? And sports?" Jisung laughs as he continues, "No thanks. Have fun though."

But just as Jisung nods and turns around to leave, an idea hits Donghyuck like a strike of lightning and a sinister smile grows on his face. He catches up to Jisung in time and tugs on his arm to gain his attention.

At the question mark expressed on his face, Donghyuck cuts straight to the chase with a smirk playing on his lips, "How about a twenty for messing around with your brother?"

Jisung looks both surprised and not surprised at the same time which perplexes Donghyuck for a second, because how does one pull off such an expression. Then, he seems to ponder on that request and leans back, tugging his arm out of Donghyuck's hold. "Just a twenty, Hyuck?" he shakes his head in disappointment. "You come from money and that's all you're offering me?"

"Oh shut up, not like your family isn't drowning in riches too," Donghyuck pats around his pockets for his wallet, finds it swiftly enough and checks through the contents. Sighing, he pulls out an eye-catching coloured bill, definitely capturing Jisung's attention as his eyes widen minutely. "How about a fifty then?"

Jisung glances between the cash bill neatly crisp and pressed in Donghyuck's hand to the glint in Donghyuck's gaze. The younger succumbs just as easily as Donghyuck wanted as he pretends to play it cool, shrugging, "Yeah, sure. What do you want me to do though?"

Donghyuck's grin holds a trace of mischief, enough to be discerned as a warning sign.

  
  


* * *

Jisung delivers as flawlessly as he can before switching to his left hand at the last second. The ball swerves to the left and that’s when Donghyuck knew that Jisung is truly a sucker for these under-the-table deals and he gives not a single fuck for his brother.

Donghyuck had been lounging around on his beach towel for the past hour or so, alternating between listening to music and trying not to watch the pair surf. Even when he’s not actively trying to look for Jaemin, his eyes always find him, easily attracted to the bright of his hair further illuminated by sunlight. That’s how Donghyuck ended up watching Jaemin hold Mark’s hand, guiding him slowly into the waters, with a sinking ache in his chest.

The ball hits the back of Jaemin’s head squarely in the midst of his stroll down the beach while Mark was pointing out something in the sand – perhaps a shellcrab or something. It bounces off his head and Donghyuck hears a scurry of footsteps to see it’s Jeno out of all people approaching them. Jisung has a practised look of perplexity on his face which if Donghyuck had the will, he’d pass an extra twenty under for the convincing reaction.

“Jaemin!” Mark exclaims in slight horror as he joins the boy’s side, awkwardly checking him over for any lasting injuries. Jaemin, himself, is cradling the back of his head with a grimace on his face. “Hey… are you alright?”

Donghyuck hides a snicker behind his hand as he wrenches his gaze away to focus on his phone screen, in the midst of a text conversation with Renjun. He has been relaying the events to him and is utterly satisfied with the reactions he’s getting. In all honesty, he misses Renjun terribly, he had extended the offer of coming on the summer holiday to him too but Renjun’s family had planned one last trip back to his hometown in China before university. Not that Mark isn’t sufficient company but with a glance at the now trio of Jaemin, Jeno and Mark, Donghyuck wishes more than anything to have Renjun by his side.

A bubble of more pronounced satisfaction grows in Donghyuck as he hears a string of curses uttered by a familiar voice, followed by hurried apologies by none other than Jisung.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Listen, if I wanted to hit you with a ball, I’ll gladly do so many times at home. It was a fucking accident!”

It was far from one but Jisung did his job so well that no one is really doubting him, he really is the perfect picture of confusion and sorry that Donghyuck is sure Jaemin will fall for his tricks. It's a wonder that he hasn't caught on yet or if he has... _no,_ it's practically impossible for Jaemin to know and not do anything about it. Whenever it concerns the other, it's all about playing fire with fire and Donghyuck would've been burnt to ashes by now.

Jaemin turns to Jisung suddenly with a stern expression, he’s still touching the back of his head. Donghyuck briefly wonders if it hurt that much, if he should've paid Jisung more to incite more damage. “Language!”

This time, Donghyuck turns his face away to let out a self-indulgent chuckle. He almost feels bad for Mark whom is standing around, looking both lost and torn. He can already foresee the latter running back to him later on with an apologetic look for leaving him this long (and while Donghyuck hardly carries a forgiving heart, he is no stranger to Mark's puppy dog eyes and the effect it exudes). The rise in voices fill the air, alerting other beach-goers of the commotion.

Donghyuck merely ducks his head, hiding a satisfied smirk. It’s far from the end.

  
  


* * *

The afternoon slips away as Donghyuck baits his time on the beach. Ever since he was younger, this place has been a source of escapism for him. In the beginning, he looked towards the gardens as one but that quickly fell apart. Even when the waves and the summer breeze freely rustling through his air are all he seeks, the company that comes along with this place is less than satisfactory.

He finds himself tugged away suddenly in the midst of taking a walk down the beach, intent mostly aimless. It was indeed stifling to stay where he was – so close to where both Mark and Jeno were trying to treat Jaemin, tiptoeing around him like he's a bomb about to explode at any moment. Donghyuck had rolled his eyes at the sight, knowing that it is rather rare of Jaemin to hold any resentment towards his little brother. Mark, as predicted, had returned to their resting area with the words _I'm sorry_ ready on the tip of his tongue but Donghyuck waves it off, shifting over to give him space.

At some point, Jeno came by with soda cans for them and asked Donghyuck bluntly if he did it, to which Donghyuck merely laughed. Jeno could think whatever he wants and if Jaemin were to find out anyway, it was his intent. There is no reason to conceal his genius at work, all the more for Jaemin to feel irritated and pissed which is essentially what Donghyuck wants in the first place.

It comes quickly enough and when Donghyuck turns in place, already anticipating the face of the stranger, he finds that he isn't disappointed.

“You’re a sick fuck.”

Jaemin’s gaze is doused in fire, not letting up, his hand tightly encircling Donghyuck’s wrist and in his other hand lies a mostly drenched ziploc bag of his phone, grains of sand sticking to the plastic. “Ruining my phone? And not only is that terrible, but involving my brother?”

They’re standing in a blind spot on the beach, shadowed by the tall, palm trees. Donghyuck knows this spot too well and a smirk slips onto his face as he relaxes his composure in Jaemin’s grip. The latter is still hovering over him with that fire in his gaze, something Donghyuck never tires of. It slicks up his skin, causing friction, and for the first time today, he feels awakened.

Donghyuck shrugs, lightly nudging his sunglasses further up to shield his eyes. “Jisung was willing, what was I to do?”

The taller boy is suddenly crowding into him, overwhelming his senses with a splash of a woody, citrus scent pungent enough to linger in Donghyuck’s nostrils hours later, a stain on his skin. Donghyuck finds himself wanting to close the small distance between them, to drouse himself further in that scent, to play with fire so close and risk it all.

“I get it, Lee,” Jaemin starts, his voice low and gritty, so unlike the bright of his blonde hair. The duality sends Donghyuck into a whiplash for a moment. “You’re pathetic and alone now that your dear friend is spending his time with me. May I remind you who’s superior?”

It’s like their surroundings have slipped away and what exists right now is the sting of Jaemin’s words paired with that menacing gaze. Donghyuck tastes acid in his mouth, burns with all the intent to spit it right back at Jaemin’s pretty face to see it tear the flesh apart, searing right into his glowing skin.

But Donghyuck doesn’t let it show, that’s always rule number one of the game they’re playing. Vulnerability is a weakness that Donghyuck is so often victim of because Jaemin is so irksome that it makes his composure slip little by little every single time. The perfect façade of a boy worth nothing more than an ant crawling on his leg. Donghyuck is so sick of him, he’s so so sick of him.

“You sure know how to make one feel special,” Donghyuck says in a sing-song voice, lifting a hand up to Jaemin’s face and reveling in the satisfaction of the flinch Jaemin lets out. Chuckling, he brushes his knuckles against Jaemin’s cheek, watching the skin redden under his touch. “Superior, huh? _Funny_.”

Donghyuck digs his knuckles further into Jaemin's cheek, watching the intensity in Jaemin's eyes fire up differently though he stays where he is – unwavering. It was right here, where he left his mark years ago, and the scar that runs at the corner of Jaemin's bottom lip is still prevalent. This close, Donghyuck can see the tremble of Jaemin's eyelashes, the sun setting in his blonde strands, and drink in the scent of the beach mixed with Jaemin. Always him.

Somewhere over the years, Jaemin has changed, Donghyuck has to admit. He has grown into his chubby cheeks, sharpened cheekbones and lean muscles all over. Donghyuck would be a liar if he says he hasn't been looking, and he _has._ It makes his blood boil further to see that the sun has been awfully kind to Jaemin, that the years have been kind to him. Life would be so much easier if Jaemin had truly turned into an ugly gremlin.

Else, they wouldn't be here.

“Your brother is the one going against your wishes and listening to my orders,” Donghyuck reminds Jaemin. “Did you forget who's superior?”

His words has the desired effect – Jaemin's gaze turns narrowed and in a swift second, Donghyuck feels the imprint of heat from the direct contact of Jaemin's hand sidling up Donghyuck's jaw slowly, surely. He ignores the betrayal of his fast-paced heartbeat and runs his own hand down Jaemin's chest, scrunching the fabric in a small fist.

A mix of emotions run through Donghyuck – as it always has been with Na Jaemin around which is why his presence never means well for him. There's a seed of hope somewhere in that conflicted mix and Donghyuck itches, the masochistic part of him wishes for it to die at the hands of Jaemin, to be stepped on all over and be left for the vultures.

There's no use hoping when the hatred mirrored in Jaemin's eyes is the reality as it is.

And that's the second rule; never lose sight of reality because Jaemin may be a pretty face but he's a menace or that's what Donghyuck reminds himself constantly.

“You're a piece of work, Lee,” Jaemin says, still cradling Donghyuck's jaw. There's sparks igniting off his touch and Donghyuck hates every bit of it, rather death to this and yet, he leans into Jaemin. Intoxicated off his attention. “And I fucking hate your guts.”

“I share the same sentiment, darling,” and the flash of red in Donghyuck's vision is all the warning he gets before Jaemin presses his mouth to his in a searing kiss that feels more like a caused injury rather than anything else.

Donghyuck takes what he can, however.

* * *

The summer Donghyuck turned sixteen, his parents threw a party for him.

Initially, it was meant to be a dinner affair but Donghyuck supposed there was something symbolic about turning sixteen. Not quite there yet, but he was feeling the peak of his youth, basking in it. The dinner then turned into a party where his parents cordially invited everyone in the small town.

In his mind, Donghyuck never imagined walking downstairs on the grand day to see Na Jaemin’s face but that was what exactly happened as he turned to face the whole living room filled with so many people but only one stood out to him.

Cheeks pinked, further abashed by the telling expression of shock on his face, he murmured a few thanks to those near him and rushed forward to pull his mother aside for a private chat. She was all smiles when he turned towards her with a frown.

Donghyuck casted a glance around the kitchen area for any eavesdropper and hissed quietly, “Mother, you didn’t tell me you invited the Na’s!”

His mother’s smile slipped and a seed of guilt grew in Donghyuck at the knowledge of him being the cause. “How does that make us look if I were to invite everyone _but_ them?”

“Still…” Donghyuck’s gaze shifted to the clear glass panes of the kitchen door, overlooking the ongoing party. Everyone was politely making conversation and roaming around with amiable smiles on their faces. He noted Jeno making way towards Jaemin who had been standing by the snack table alone and pulling him into a conversation. A rush of anger drowned the earlier feelings of guilt and Donghyuck hates him, he really does. Not even on a happy occasion like his birthday could he be rid of the notoriously pesky presence of Jaemin.

Sometimes, his parents can be far too nice for their own good, the fakeness drilling a nerve into Donghyuck's head. As he learnt more on their history with the family next door, the rivalry between him and Jaemin brewed on. Both of them invested themselves in forming the pettiest pranks on each other (though, in Donghyuck's defense, he's not as childish as Jaemin, he intends to _harm_ fully with no regret) and throwing names around. There's been a few instances of Jisung, Jaemin's little brother, being pulled into the war between them like a pawn to be dragged across the chessboard. Not like the younger boy ever made a little squeak, always finding humour in how agitated Jaemin gets when Donghyuck had his way and for that reason alone, he decided that the younger is the better sibling.

There was no absolute reason to heighten the animosity between the families but Donghyuck can't help it; something crawls up his spine in unease at the sight of Jaemin every single time and his hands tremble to do something. Be it damage or...

His mother, however, had different motives. “My dear,” she ruffled his head lightly with a smile. “It’s your special day, there’s a lot of guests here for you. Focus on that, alright?”

Even if Donghyuck tried, he couldn’t.

Donghyuck was hardly a dramatic teenager – he didn't throw tantrums much to his mother's disagreement of this claim, but there was something hateful in Jaemin's gaze directed solely at him that first afternoon and he wouldn't want to ever be in his presence as much as he could help it.

He did try to steer away from the latter, abiding his mother’s advice, and made his way around, thanking those who wished him. The act of avoidance hardly lasted long as Jeno found him at one point and whispered in his ear about a game or something of a surprise in the backyard whilst the adults are mingling in the living room.

Letting Jeno lead him out to what turned out to be his demise, Donghyuck should’ve known something was amiss.

Just like every party held by adults, the kids were shoved into a corner and forced to make do with snacks and board games. The forced bonding session ran awkwardly by a slightly older teenager who clearly looked like she didn't want to deal with the lot of them. Sweeping a glance over the situation in the backyard, it seemed like those teenagers all collectively decided to ditch said party activities and laze out in the lightly chilled air of this summer night. Donghyuck couldn’t blame them even if it was his party they were escaping from for he ached for a breath of air from the forced cordiality of the scene back in his house.

The so-called adult supervision turned out to be Seungwan, whom Donghyuck knew from manning the snack shake a few times at the beach. She looked half worn out and hesitant in joining whatever rebellion ongoing in the gardens. Donghyuck could hardly feel pity for her though and turned to Jeno.

“Alright, now, should we start a classic game of pictionary?” Seungwan chirped up in an obvious attempt to be cheery. It seemed like she hadn’t gotten the memo yet as she was immediately shot down by multiple sharp looks. Everyone else groaned and another girl overtook her by saying, “We're not literally kids! Could we do something else?”

Donghyuck whispered to Jeno then, “What’s going on?” but was met with no answer as the latter shrugged and moved away to talk to someone else. Out of everyone here, Donghyuck probably only knew a handful by name and all from frolicking in the sun as a child. In the corner of his eye, he could see Jaemin standing out of the circle (the utter unfriendly brute) and watching the scene unfold with an unreadable expression. Donghyuck lifted his chin up and moved towards someone he knew at least.

Yerim turned at the sound of his arrival and hugged him, “Happy birthday you oldie, happy to join the club?”

Donghyuck laughed into her embrace, pleased. He spent most of earlier, having five-minute conversations and avidly avoiding One Singular Person, so he didn’t manage to properly say hi to those he actually knew. Yerim is one of the only few in the town that he could tolerate (and actually enjoy company of but _shh_ don’t tell her).

“Not really but sixteen does sound much better.”

Whatever Yerim said next was drowned out by the growing commotion. A boy – Donghyuck vaguely remembered him as Woojin – nodded furiously, “Yeah.” Then, like as if a literal lightbulb popped up above his head, his eyes brightened and he suggested, looking around the group, “How about a game of seven minutes in heaven?”

This caused quite an uproar; everyone rushing to join in, very enthused about the idea meanwhile Seungwan tried her best to calm the crowd down by listing down reasons why they should _not._ Absurd excuses like they were all too young to fool around in a closet, the parents might come and check on them anytime to ask, but she was rendered speechless by a girl who huffed and said, _“Seungwan, seriously. We're not going to make out. We'll keep it PG, maybe a peck on the lips and that's all!”_

“Exactly! Don't act like you didn't have your first kiss at fourteen, you're hardly a saint here,” a boy – whom Donghyuck realised later is Seungwan's brother – said and caused Seungwan's cheeks to pink intensely.

Donghyuck soon realised the ulterior motives these people had for moving to the backyard and while he couldn’t blame them, he felt far safer back in the house as an afterthought.

He hoped to be invisible, and for a moment, he truly believed he was, seeing how no one interacted with him since the beginning. Maybe everyone forgot that he was the birthday boy, but that childish hope was squashed the moment Seungwan turned to regard him with a forced smile.

“What do you think? This party is for you after all,” she said, her voice was soft.

Donghyuck wished that she didn’t lay the responsibility of the decision upon him, because there went everyone: turning to look at him hopefully. Some with intimidating expressions. Yerim herself, tugged on his sleeve and blinked her eyes at him in a classic act of puppy dog eyes. If Donghyuck wasn't undergoing inner turmoil over this whole idea, he would've joined easily at the sight of this scene, but he shook his head, fully resembling a stubborn child.

“No,” then as an afterthought, he added with a tinge of guilt, “Sorry.”

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jaemin piped up, sharing the same sentiment, “That's a no from me too.” And kept his lips sealed as he stared back resolutely.

For that alone, Donghyuck felt the growing itch to take his words back just to irritate Jaemin.

Seungwan sighed, “Look, kiddos, it's unlikely that you will end up in the closet. There's a thousand kids here so just join the circle, make them all shut up and watch at least?”

She had a point as Donghyuck looked over at the number of teenagers stuck in the circle. They were all speaking over each other, so excited about the idea of seven minutes in heaven, so different from the grim atmosphere earlier.

Even he couldn't hold up a barrier that well so he shrugged, “Yeah, why the fuck not?” Donghyuck’s gaze fell upon Jaemin then, sensing the annoyance radiating off him, and he cracked an innocent smile. Innocent to the public eye, but years of enmity were enough for Jaemin to perceive it as otherwise. “I wouldn’t want to be a party pooper,” Donghyuck continued and promptly shuffled over to join the growing circle with confidence increasing in his gait.

Another girl pulled him (and Yerim both) in with all the enthusiasm burning through her gaze and dissolved that minute confusion quickly with a bright flash of her smile at Yerim, then Donghyuck. “I'm Yena,” she introduced herself swiftly. “I've been meaning to tell you that your sneakers are cool.”

Donghyuck, dazed for a second, looked down at his shoes and chuckled. “I had to beg my parents for a whole week before my mother got tired of it and placed an order.”

Yena’s eyes were shining with admiration. “My parents would _never_ listen to me,” she moaned. “You're lucky.”

Yerim, who had been listening, groaned similarly, “Yeah, no way my folks would ever let me get away with that. They listened to my older sister far more than me.”

“Perks of being the only child, I suppose,” Donghyuck said, feeling more comfortable in his skin, a first in the whole evening. “And being absolutely charming.”

Yena’s response was drowned by Seungwan's call for attention. She went through the rules intensively, making sure everyone knew the boundaries of the game and not to cross any – _“If I see anyone forcing themselves on the other...”–_ it was a little embarrassing at first but Donghyuck understood her intent perfectly. She pursed her lips once she finished, grabbing the empty soda bottle and neatly placing it in the middle of the circle.

“Everyone ready?”

There was a chorus of agreement and she didn't waste a single second before spinning the bottle, stepping away to watch the bottle take its course of fate. Donghyuck was already gearing up for a lacklustre game and turned away to restart his conversation with Yena and Yerim but the two were watching the bottle spin with barely concealed anticipation, Yerim’s hands curled up loosely in fists, Yena unconsciously leaning towards the center.

It landed on a pair of girls – one being Chaeyoung whom Donghyuck smiled at assuringly and received one back – at first that everyone else just egged them on with whistling, quickly shot down by Seungwan’s stern shouting. When asked if uncomfortable, both of the girls just waved it off and were fine with continuing the agenda of the game. To everyone’s dismay (or mostly the immature ones at least), it was quite anti-climatic what with the girls closing the door to the small shed behind them and not even a slight squeak to give them away. Seven minutes passed, and they emerged looking as composed as they went in.

And the game continued accordingly.

The bottle spun for a while, missing Donghyuck every single time. He remembered Seungwan’s words and relaxed further and further into the game, leaning back on his elbows, lazily perusing the game. The only excitement he felt was when Jeno was pulled into the shed with some girl he mildly recognised from the local market but otherwise, nothing else happened. Even Yena and Yerim seemed restless at the lack of luck on their side, Donghyuck was sure it was mostly because of his offish aura.

Donghyuck spoke too soon.

Just as he considered sneaking back into the house for a cup of the fruit punch, he heard his name being called and for a second, thought that he was going to be asked to suggest another game since this had been ongoing for close to half an hour. Donghyuck looked up through his bangs and saw the tip of the bottle facing him.

Reality didn’t sink until his eyes flitted slowly towards the other end of the bottle and found Jaemin’s face out of all people to be glaring at him like as if this was all of his fault.

“Alright, you two know the drill, in the shed you go!” Seungwan said as cheerily as she could muster. At the lack of response from them, the happy-go-lucky mask slipped a little and she asked them in a quiet, considerate voice, “Are you two okay? Should we move on then?”

Jaemin parted his lips just as Donghyuck shot up to his feet, plastering on a wide grin. “No problem. All’s good.” He jerked his chin towards the shed, watching every single move Jaemin made and caught the hesitance in his steps. “Shall we, Na? Don’t tell me you’re afraid of spending several minutes with me? Some say it’s quite heavenly.”

The joke fell flat even though some of the teenagers did snicker, Donghyuck’s grin turned up a notch at that and furthermore at the way Jaemin rose up from his seat. Predictably, Na Jaemin hates losing to Donghyuck just as much he does, one of the very, very few things they have in common. If there's something Donghyuck takes pride in, it is riling Jaemin up and winning every single time.

“You do have a habit of surrounding yourself with liars, Lee,” Jaemin said with a hint of a smirk that materliased when Donghyuck’s very own smile fell a little.

Seungwan interrupted them before it could worsen in front of their peers, tugging them both towards the shed. It felt odd to grow to the size of this shed when he spent his youth trying to reach the cobwebs in the ceiling, With one last look at them squeezed into the small shed, Seungwan tutted at them with a warning tone, “Play nice, kids. I don’t want to see any black eyes when I come back in seven minutes.”

Before Donghyuck could retaliate that he hardly threw punches in his spare time, the door was shut in their faces and they were both bathed in darkness with only a silver of light from the loose plank in the wall behind Jaemin.

Silence stretched out between them as Donghyuck fiddled with his own hands, feeling utterly out of place. It was odd how he knew all the little things about the boy in front of him, had watched him grow up a little too closely and once ran around the bushes with his hand in his at one point of their lives. Yet, the hatred still brewed in Donghyuck endlessly, mixed with something else. Always something else, and that was a dangerous territory to embark on.

This, right now, was a dangerous territory too: the flutter of Jaemin’s long lashes against his cheeks as he watched his feet, completely unaware of Donghyuck observing him unbidden. Not for the first time in the years since he’d known the former, Donghyuck’s heart tightened with an indescribable ache.

Donghyuck reached out with poison instead because that was what he learnt, that was what he was best at.

“Scared, Na?” at those first words uttered, slicing through the air, Jaemin’s head whipped upwards to meet the twinkling amusement in Donghyuck’s eyes. Chuckling, Donghyuck leaned all the way in until Jaemin was trapped between him and the wall behind him. Even then, Donghyuck couldn’t read the expression in Jaemin’s gaze and the itch within him intensified like a million ants dancing on his skin. “Bet you never kissed someone before.”

Jaemin stayed where he was, quiet and meeting his gaze evenly. Donghyuck smirked, swiping a thumb across Jaemin’s bottom lip which earned him a small flinch. Satisfied, Donghyuck barked out a laugh right in his face, “How embarrassing.”

His thumb lingered on Jaemin’s bottom lip, eyeing the scar running down the corner. It’s so faint that it would be missed at first sight. Back when they were thirteen, Donghyuck had used the edge of a particularly sharp rock as a weapon when they fought over the last surfboard at the rental shop and the rest was history.

The scar always fascinates Donghyuck because in a way, it is his own mark permanently embedded on Jaemin’s skin, the sharp, jagged line telling of their enmity. Donghyuck hardly felt any remorse then, only satisfaction for the visible scar as Donghyuck held all his scars in his anger and poisonous words while Jaemin hardly lashed out. It was only fair, Donghyuck thought, for the scars Jaemin had inflicted upon his heart countlessly.

Right when Donghyuck moved a fraction away, Jaemin caught onto the small of his wrist, pulling him in further with a startled noise. Donghyuck almost hit his head against Jaemin’s shoulder and righted himself immediately with a glaring expression sent Jaemin’s way, he drew up shortly at the sight of Jaemin’s half-lidded eyes, the peek of fire within.

Donghyuck’s throat dried up and he lost his will to move anywhere else. This close, he could see the glitter of amusement mixed with dark intensity in Jaemin’s eyes, bordering on something else.

“Not so brave when you’re caught off guard, aren’t you?” Jaemin clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and Donghyuck sputtered which brought upon a smile on Jaemin’s face, so irksome that Donghyuck wanted to slap it off.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Donghyuck rolled his eyes even when his heart was tightening with overwhelming nerves. He still held his gaze strongly, stubbornly unwavering in his stance. He knew how to play fire with fire after all, he _ignited_ it and not on his watch, will it die. With a raised eyebrow, he continued, “You’re so inexperienced, what did I ex– ”

Donghyuck’s words were swiftly cut off by a pair of lips insistently pressing against his. For a brief moment, he couldn’t comprehend what was going on, his entire mind had shut down, his system overloading with nerves and literally...what the fuck was going on? Donghyuck felt himself move out of his own accord, hands sliding up Jaemin’s chest, eyes closing in tandem with his sigh into the kiss, but as quickly as he gave in, he felt the startling jolt disguised as a reminder that this was his enemy, Na Jaemin.

And you don’t casually kiss enemies in sheds.

HIs hands scrunch up the fabric of Jaemin’s shirt and Donghyuck started to pull away from the kiss when Jaemin leaned back into him, not with another kiss. But with his fucking teeth sinking down on Donghyuck’s bottom lip, pulling out a loud, startled moan, surprising both of them in the evidence of their gazes widening at each other.

Donghyuck properly shoved Jaemin away as much as he could in the tight space of the shed they were in. The distance between them was still not enough for Donghyuck to wrap his mind around what the fuck went down and he remembered, perhaps for the first time since he was pushed into this very shed, that this was all a game. They were supposedly having seven minutes in heaven. And Jaemin kissed him.

Jaemin kissed him and bit on his lip and Donghyuck _moaned._

Unbidden, Donghyuck’s gaze fell to the red of Jaemin’s lips and idly wondered if he wore the same shade on his lips. Another unbidden thought drifted by, a wish to have his lips as bruised red as possible by Jaemin’s own, but Donghyuck stomped all over that thought. Dangerous territory, he reminded himself.

A slow curl of a smirk grew on Jaemin’s lips as he stared shamelessly at Donghyuck’s mouth. “Liked that, didn’t you?”

If Donghyuck wasn’t already blushing, he definitely was now, the heat of the flush creeping up his neck. He could only hope with all his might that the light peeking through the shed wasn’t enough to make it obvious to Jaemin, but he forgot that this boy literally grew up with him. Knew him as much as he knew the other. And so, Jaemin’s smirk remained annoyingly.

Donghyuck’s fury blazed and he clenched his fists before delivering a single punch into the side of Jaemin’s face, hitting his jaw first. Jaemin stumbled from the force of the hit, his entire face contorted in pain and at that very moment, the door to the shed slammed open to reveal Seungwan.

In the back of his mind, Donghyuck mildly realised that they must’ve looked a sight with reddened lips, flushed cheeks (for Donghyuck atleast) and a bruise growing on Jaemin’s face in the form of pain travelling up his jaw. A mess, that’s what they are, a mess of two conflicted teenagers hating the fuck out of each other.

Seungwan pursed her lips, eyebrows drawn together, and even thought it was more of Donghyuck’s call since it was his party, he knew that the game was over then.

But the game between Jaemin and Donghyuck merely took a turn for the worst.

  
  


* * *

“I still don't get why you hate Jaemin,” Mark says casually in the middle of their lunch taken in the comfort of Donghyuck's bedroom, and for that, Donghyuck has half a mind to kick the former out. “If anything, he seems your type.”

“You offend me so much,” Donghyuck makes a disgusted noise and looks down at the bowl of noodles prepared by his mother. “Now, I'm losing my appetite.”

“Aw c'mon dude! You know I'm right,” Mark insists and lifts his thumb up, promptly dropping his chopsticks for this nonsense, in a counting motion. That further offends Donghyuck because he refuse to be perceived so openly by Mark Lee out of all people. “You're into pretty boys –” to which Donghyuck almost chokes on his mouthful of noodles “– _don't_ lie to me about this, you crushed on Jeno. He's actually quite decent and funny when you get to know him which is exactly your cup of tea!”

“Baby, I don't go for _decent_ and _funny._ I might as well purchase a Ken doll,” Donghyuck holds a hand up, widening his eyes. “Which is exactly Na Jaemin now that I'm thinking 'bout it...such a bitchass too.”

Mark reaches over, placing his hand atop Donghyuck's, halting him in the middle of picking his chopsticks up. His voice is laced with caution, like he's approaching a tiger, “Do give him a chance, will you?”

Donghyuck blinks at the sudden request, stilling at Mark's touch.

How is Donghyuck supposed to tell Mark that he has given Jaemin a chance years ago? That once upon a time, they looked over ladybugs and blew wishes off dandelions together at the descending sun? It's a wonder that such a memory existed and that _that_ summer held so much for Donghyuck to be able to look back and feel the stringing brew of fury and longing. To be that young and clueless in that frame of time.

And to have Jaemin smile at him in that carefree, bright manner.

Donghyuck's left alone thinking it was all a dream, a hallucination of his mind. Na Jaemin never smiled at him before, he never clasped onto his hand and tugged him into the gardens for an adventure. Now, all they're good for is picking fights in the sand and dripping poison on each other's skin.

So, Donghyuck pushes Mark's hand away and settles for suspicion. Picking his chopsticks up again, he asks with thinly veiled skepticism in his voice, “Is there a reason why you're pushing this agenda?”

It seems like Donghyuck may be right as Mark visibly stiffens and averts his gaze elsewhere. The boy is a lost cause – nothing he does ever escapes Donghyuck, not with those wide set eyes of his that reveal so much despite his intent, and Mark is never capable of hiding secrets from him. With a narrowed gaze, Donghyuck flips to the other end of the chopstick and pokes at Mark's side, successfully causing a tickling jolt that makes Mark glare at him briefly.

“Stop that!” Mark exclaims in breathless horror when Donghyuck doesn't relent, continuously poking his sides. He jumps away immediately in an attempt of defense when Donghyuck switches to his hands instead. “I just!” Mark exhales, face contorted in annoyance at the sight of Donghyuck wriggling his fingers at him threateningly. “I was hoping you could go to the party with me.”

Donghyuck pauses in his tracks, “What party?”

“Jaemin is throwing a party at his yacht...and he invited us.”

“You mean yourself?” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow, returning back to his seat, and continues eating his noodles. In between mouthfuls, he reminds Mark of the reality, “He wouldn't name drop me in a party invitation.”

“No, Donghyuck, he mentioned you very clearly.”

A noodle strand slips from the grip of his chopsticks and Donghyuck looks up to check if Mark is joking but that's so unlike the latter. It's further confirmed by the lack of jest in his expression, lips pursued. Despite the confirmation of Mark's words, Donghyuck is still reeling from the sheer impossible. Jaemin wouldn't think twice of him, not unless there's something incredibly terrible awaiting for Donghyuck at his so-called party and in that case, Donghyuck decides it's far better if he doesn't attend. Not if he wants to make a fool out of himself.

“You must be mad if you think I'd go.”

Mark groans, “See this is what I meant?” He sounds far exasperated than Donghyuck anticipated, even when it's not his fault that Jaemin antagonises him on the daily in the name of their family's enmity. “You're so fixated on the past! C'mon, it's rude to turn an invitation down.”

“Mark, honey,” Donghyuck abandons his lunch altogether to grab onto his best friend's hands and looks into his eyes in mock sincerity, though maybe he does mean this a little bit. Just a little. “Know that I'm saying from the utter most good of my heart.”

Bless Mark's heart truly, Donghyuck thinks, as the former actually blinks up at him, awaiting his answer.

“Fuck Na Jaemin and fuck his damn yacht party,” Donghyuck says cheerily. “I'm not stepping a foot out of this house for that abomination.”

Mark's small smile, that was steadily growing, falls right off immediately just as Donghyuck's own mouth splits upwards in a smirk. He gets shoved backwards, narrowly missing both their bowls of noodles, and laughs openly at the way Mark is throwing a tantrum with his groaning and curses at Donghyuck's lifespan.

“You can't leave me to go to the party alone,” Mark is sporting a frown, bottom lip jutting out. His last attempt is guilt-tripping Donghyuck it seems, but the latter has a strong-willed iron and he knows all of Mark's dirty tricks by now.

Donghyuck shrugs, “That's on you, honey.”

And it is. He would be caught dead before he chooses to step on that yacht and willingly be vulnerable on Jaemin's territory. It's one thing to keep your enemies close, it's another to make stupid decisions like that. Who's to say that Jaemin isn't capable of inducing damage upon him? Donghyuck has years to compel that very argument and even if Mark wants to ramble on about second chances, Donghyuck was never given one. He wasn't given a second summer with Jaemin.

He does want to check something and so, he turns to Mark inquisitively. “Do _you_ like Jaemin?”

To his surprise, Mark flushes a little and shrugs it off though there's a clear answer on the apples of his cheeks. Donghyuck stares in disgust while Mark fumbles with his own pair of chopsticks, trying to right them again.

“Uhh,” Mark answers smartly, scratching at his nape which is a telltale sign of his nervousness. “Maybe? Not really?”

“That's not an answer to my question, Mark. Yes or no?”

Mark shoots Donghyuck a sharp look, “I really don't know! Jaemin seems nice and I feel comfortable around him...but that could mean _anything_.”

He swallows around the lump in his throat, ignoring the way his heart clenches at the line of images flooding his mind of the day at the beach where Jaemin's eyes were fixed on Mark the entire time with not a single regard for him. It's been like this for a while, and so, Donghyuck isn't surprised that Jaemin has invited Mark to his yacht party, probably to show off. Perhaps, he wants Donghyuck there to drill the feelings of inferiority further into him, but what Jaemin doesn't know that Donghyuck has perfected his facade and he had succeeded at that plan years ago when he shoved Donghyuck away at their shared gardens.

Mark doesn't know any of that, though. There's lingering shame surrounding that memory, to think that Donghyuck once had everything in the palm of his hand to be yanked away as quickly.

So, Donghyuck scoffs, looking away, “I'd say be careful but I feel like that's a given.”

Because he knows best out of anyone to be bathed in that warmth that Jaemin radiates once, after all.

* * *

The night has always been theirs, and that's where Jaemin seeks Donghyuck out.

In the secret of their shared gardens, Donghyuck finds himself where everything went haywire. It's odd how this place held so many memories for Donghyuck, many of which are terrible, and yet he finds comfort in the serenity of the garden. He thinks of his late grandmother's presence peeking through the flowers that his mother spent forever on, and feels immense ease in the darkest of nights.

That's how Donghyuck ends up in the gardens tonight, watching the ants turn into a neat line down the stalk of a leaf. Sleep escapes him so much these days with talk of university, the promise of his future in the house. Growing up seems like a chore, he feels stuck in the body of that newly turned sixteen-year-old sitting right at this spot years ago. It has only been two years but it seems like an eon passed by in terms of the changes, all the shit Donghyuck witnessed and went through.

A part of him aches to be that carefree and young. Oh, to go all the way back to the first day he stepped foot in this very garden, eyes bright with a childlike excitement and steps lighter than feather, so eager to spend summers on a beach. No responsibility of figuring oneself out burdened on his shoulders, no conflicted mix of emotions stirring within him at the expense of another boy.

"Can't sleep?" a soft, raspy voice pulls Donghyuck out of his reverie and he's faced with Jaemin who's standing a few inches away, hands decked deep in his pockets, an unsure smile on his lips.

_Speak of the devil and he will appear._ Donghyuck turns away, shrugging. "What do you need, Na? Isn't rubbing your presence into my face during the day enough of a torture?"

Jaemin's smile doesn't waver and it irritates Donghyuck to no end. Leave it to Jaemin to ruin everything he has with his presence. It's like he is constantly manifesting the boy from his thoughts and he's so unnerved by the way the universe works. There's complexity right here and Donghyuck wants to leave this summer town behind him, without a thought of the what-ifs. Even if his heart begs otherwise.

"Mark told me that you aren't coming to my party."

Donghyuck makes a face of annoyance when Jaemin doesn't take the hint and goes on to take a seat by him on the grass plains, leave crumbling under their weight. It pains him to recognise the way moonlight descends beautifully upon the planes of Jaemin's face, to have familiarised himself with this sight for the past two summers of their secret endeavours. It's where they're at, however, and Donghyuck forcibly tears his gaze away in fear that if he keeps staring, he'd never stop looking and realising.

Donghyuck scoffs. "Why do you care?"

"It's the last party of the summer for me."

Donghyuck whips his head around, eyes searching Jaemin's side profile but as always, the latter is terribly hard to read. He's expressionless, staring ahead into the abyss of the flowers, the faraway waves raging on.

"What do you mean?" Donghyuck's voice is a whisper, uncertain and confused.

Jaemin doesn't look at him but he explains, "I've gotten an early admission." Donghyuck feels like he has been struck by lightning. "SNU. I'm leaving next week."

Donghyuck forces the lump in his throat to disappear. Clearing his throat, he puts on his most condescending voice, "And terrorise the other kiddos there? SNU doesn't know what's hitting them."

It's his weakest delivery, he knows but his mind is running on so many thoughts and he's stiffened with nerves. Donghyuck's afraid that if he loosens his limbs a little, his heart might just take over and he'll say something he regrets. And that would be a disaster in itself. Punches more than whatever vomit his heart will conjure up at the sight of this boy who is supposedly his enemy, and Donghyuck is exactly the type to kiss his knuckles when he lands a hit.

Deep down, he is aware of what they are, out there, openly perceived by so many. Their rivalry is one to go down in the books, filled with bleeding bruises and scarred skin. But when they are here, when Jaemin is alone with Donghyuck, he sees a different boy, something close to the boy he first met years back. Like his facade is stripped away to the reality in the heart of him and Donghyuck is once again drowned in a single revelation; he's staring right into the mirror when his eyes fall upon Jaemin.

Donghyuck does hate him, he does. He hates the way Jaemin can easily lean back and turn to him with the faintest of smiles, eyes twinkling like the history between them is a figment of their imagination. Donghyuck hates the way he pushes his heart into overdrive with the gentlest of touches against his cheekbone where he knows there's a mole or two. And he especially hates the way Jaemin can do what he wants, with no regard or whatsoever for Donghyuck's wellbeing. Because this isn't good, this is breaching the contract of their enmity, they're meant to hate each other passionately.

Not spend this moment under the moon, gazes holding a promise of something that Donghyuck can't bear to even think of.

(He's a delusional liar sometimes.)

"Will you come to the party then?" Jaemin asks softly, a brush of his fingers lightly against Donghyuck's own hand, and Donghyuck knows he's gone.

* * *

Donghyuck is constantly eating his own words and Mark doesn't miss a single beat in telling him so.

The yacht is decorated in hues of azure and indigo, fitting of the sea and Na Jaemin himself. It's not as crowded as Donghyuck anticipated, since he knew the former to be quite popular in the community, along with his parents' influence. It's a much, much smaller affair with dimmer lights and less intrusive noise. Donghyuck has to admit that the ambience is much more enjoyable when he has a glass of champagne in hand but he does find himself reaching out for shots of vodka every now and then.

They find Jeno midway through the party and settle down in the quieter area of the yacht, overlooking the dark abyss of the sea ahead of them. There's lights twinkling every now and then; signs of life from other yachts drifting nearby, but otherwise, Donghyuck feels the existential dread creeping up at the sight. Taking a sip from his glass, he ignores the one and very significant thought that keeps popping at the front of his mind.

The air is windy, more so than the usual summer breeze, Donghyuck should've dressed more appropriately in preparation for the chill of the night. He's dressed in a simple, thin button down silk shirt with his favourite skinnys. The cold air slaps against his skin every now and then, drowning him in shivers.

Jeno notices, "Hey dude, you alright?"

Donghyuck can't say much to that, he hasn't gotten a jacket and the weather didn't provide any forewarning. "I'm good," he forces out as a gush of wind hits them then. Gritting his teeth, he continues, "Just a little cold."

Mark, whom has spent half of his life in Toronto and is practically no stranger to this sort of cold, chuckles. "You can ask Jaemin for a jacket, bet he's got one or two on hold. This is like his home."

Donghyuck scrunches his nose up at that, but doesn't say anything. The conversation flows elsewhere from there but Donghyuck is less averse to talking now, mind slipping into that territory once again.

The truth is, he hasn't seen Jaemin ever since he stepped foot on the yacht. Alright, that's pushing it a little. He did see glimpses of Jaemin there and then throughout his time here. Always a peek of his dirty blonde hair from a distance away, not near enough for him to do anything else though Donghyuck isn't sure what he wants to. Just that his hands itch for something and he's here, isn't he? On one of Jaemin's last nights here, even if Donghyuck doesn't know what to make do out of that.

Donghyuck, himself, received his love letters from the universities a few days ago, alongside Mark, and they proper had a breakdown in the house. What with Mark calling his parents and gushing over the phone in unshed tears whereas Donghyuck was embraced by his mother in a tight hug and his father smiling at the ongoing commotion.

He, too, is leaving the summers behind and moving forward to a new home. Donghyuck can't imagine what it's like to not have to come back here every summer even though he's still welcome to but with new semesters and a whole different environment to adjust to, he's not sure if it's possible. A goodbye is also in place for Donghyuck and for him, it's the hardest one yet.

Mark had said then, when Donghyuck let this out to both him and Renjun (accompanied in a video call), that _"you will never outgrow the summer, it will outgrow you and that's when you know."_

At times, Mark does have his way around wisdom.

Lifting his glass, Donghyuck sees that it's empty. "Oh, I'm going to go grab more champagne. Anyone?"

Mark stands up immediately with his equally empty glass in hand. "I'll come with." He darts a glance at Jeno, smiling softly. "Do you mind?"

Jeno shakes his head, mirroring Mark's smile with one of his, and Donghyuck thinks there's something to unpack there.

As they approach the drinks table, Mark taking reign over filling their glasses up with champagne once more, Donghyuck considers asking him about Jeno but his line of thought gets interrupted.

"Mark, sweetheart! There you are!"

Jaemin makes himself known then, with a similar glass in hand, eyes sparkling on this summer night. He's wearing a loose v-neck shirt that further emphasises the shadow of his clavicles, looking so frustratingly good that Donghyuck forces his gaze away. His hand is a clenched fist around his glass however and he wants to reach for another shot of vodka to go through this night.

“Oh dude,” Mark exclaims, giving Jaemin a side hug while the latter pecks his cheek, making Mark flush a little from the attention. Donghyuck watches on the sidelines with a fake gag, “Please keep the PDA to a minimum please.”

Mark at least has the audacity to look abashed, cheeks coloured pink, whilst Jaemin glances at Donghyuck, gaze brazen and something else. Always something else that is hard for him to decipher, especially disguised under the moonlight.

“You came,” is what Jaemin says to Donghyuck, lacking any jest or menace. Donghyuck blinks at that but before he could ponder on it, Jaemin turns back to Mark and smiles. “Yerim just had the wonderful idea of a game.”

“Not seven minutes in heaven again?” Donghyuck says, mostly mocking, but the look that Jaemin darts towards him confirms it. “No. _No._ ” The realisation dawns upon him and he swears – “I'm going to kill Yerim.”

“Am I missing something?” Mark asks, confused, his eyes flicking between both of them like he's trying to discover the context, Donghyuck wants to knock his head off for even trying.

Before Donghyuck could rush on to explain that it is _nothing_ , Jaemin beats him to it, surprising him furthermore. “We played years ago and it wasn't _quite_ a satisfactory experience for some of us.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “Sure, it was. My fist had an interesting bruise.”

Jaemin stares back at him, gaze hardening. _Ah,_ there's that fire that Donghyuck is acquainted with and he can't believe that he missed this, victory indeed. “So did my face.”

Mark bursts out in disbelief, “Hyuck, you punched him?”

“Ouch, do you not tell your best friend here anything?” Jaemin cocks an eyebrow at Donghyuck. “Thought it's one of your _prouder_ moments to share.”

_Not when Donghyuck was busy reeling from the impact of Jaemin's lips on him seconds prior to it._ Donghyuck jerks his chin upwards, knowing that his attempt is futile seeing how Jaemin is a few inches taller than him and the effect isn't as instantaneous as he hoped.

Mark looks at him, expectant and a little hurt. Admittedly, Donghyuck hasn't told anyone except Jeno and that's only because he was there at the party thus Donghyuck couldn't escape from his nosiness and even then, he hadn't said the whole truth. Just enough to fit the pieces of the puzzle in Jeno's mind, seeing how a dark purplish bruise had formed on Jaemin's cheek and Donghyuck's knuckles tore a little from the force of his punch. In the midst of all that chaos, Donghyuck still didn't feel the pain of his knuckles, didn't register the bleeding until much much later and it's all due to the lingering trace of Jaemin's lips still on his own.

“It's not as climatic as Na makes it out to be,” Donghyuck lightens up the tension with a mere roll of his eyes once more. Nodding towards Jaemin, he asks, “Are we not going to play the godforsaken game?”

A wide grin graces Jaemin's lips, looking strangely sinister, “Glad to see that you're so willing for once, Lee.”

They're led into a room in the heart of the yacht. Not that Donghyuck hasn't been on one (his father's business has the family going on dinners on yachts from time to time), but he has never properly explored the boat before. The yacht rocks gently against the waves as they make their way down, the crescent moon further from sight.

Jeno is already there and Mark, predictably, goes to him without a single ounce of hesitation. Donghyuck fights back a smile and turns his glare on for the girl running straight towards him. With a hand on his hip, he inches away when Yerim closes in, her brown hair cascading down her shoulder stunningly.

"Donghyuck!" Yerim greets him with a bright smile but it slips when Donghyuck doesn't return it. "What's up? Did you hear? Jaemin is letting me initiate a game of seven minutes in heaven!"

"You're truly the bane of my existence," Donghyuck hisses. "Do you not remember what happened last time?"

Yerim tilts her head at him, and in perfect imitation of back then, she puts on her puppy dog eyes once more.

Donghyuck wants to slap her. "Why?" she whines, blinking insistently at him to further prove her point. If she thinks it's endearing, it's so far from it and Donghyuck nudges at her ribs in an attempt to make her stop. "It's not like you will be stuck in the room with him again!"

Donghyuck purses his lips. The girl does have a point but: "Knowing how much of my life is a joke, I won't be surprised."

"You're here already so you're playing," Yerim is so insistent and she pulls on Donghyuck's hand to the other end of the room where everyone is starting to gather.

There's familiar faces, some of which Donghyuck has said hi to earlier on when he's arrived, and he settles down next to Mark. Casting a searching look around, he sees that Jeno is on the other side with Jisung and someone else Donghyuck only knows by face from seeing them around at parties. He slants a knowing look towards Mark at the implication of their distance in this circle of the game and Mark jabs his elbow into Donghyuck's sides, causing him to sputter on his laughter.

Yerim easily takes over the ropes – leading everyone into a circle and telling them of the rules. Donghyuck does think they're a little too old but with the future hovering so close by, a part of him wants to dip a toe in the sea of nostalgia once in a while. It feels like his sixteenth birthday party all over again with how giggly others are, shooting equally sly and shy looks around. Donghyuck's gaze naturally falls on the host of the party standing a few inches out of the circle, and upon that, Jaemin's gaze immediately finds him.

A smile grows on Jaemin's face and he's turning away to walk towards Jeno, almost in the opposite side of Donghyuck. Yerim calls for the designated bottle and drops it in the middle of the circle once everyone has settled down.

Just like before, like nothing has changed since the age of sixteen, Donghyuck's heart skips over a beat when the bottle starts to spin. Yerim has returned back to his side, her expression filled with clear anticipation. Mark is watching the bottle just as intently. Donghyuck starts to lean back, tugging on his collar aside, feeling boredom seep in. Not that he wants anything out of this, he hopes to God that the universe is kind of him on this night.

The game goes on. Pairs heading into another room and being timed for seven minutes. Some emerge a little less decently, entirely apparent of what went on in closed doors. Of course, this earns an applause and a round of whistling that fills the air, further deepening the blushes on the couple's cheeks. There are a few that are not so lucky, coming out with hair still in place and immediately piling distance between them. There's still applause, mostly polite and considerate as the couple heads back to their seats with an awkward air about them.

Donghyuck watches this with a bored stance, chin cradled in the palm of his hand, eyes lazily following the motions of the game going on far longer than normal. Yerim must've an agenda in mind, she hasn't gotten a single turn and perhaps that's what prolonging the game. Others are seen lounging like Donghyuck is, opting to take sips out of their alcohol, eyes struggling to open. Donghyuck, himself, has lost his glass of champagne somewhere in the commotion and is dying for a shot of vodka. Anything to jolt his senses.

And it's like the universe is indeed answering to him.

It happens in slow motion – the bottle tripping, slowing down in its last few turns. Donghyuck can hear Yerim muttering incoherently under her breath by his side and he adds in a small prayer for her and whoever she's manifesting for, but of course, the universe does think Donghyuck's life is a joke. It almost loses the appeal of surprise when the rim of the bottle lands neatly on him.

Furthermore, to worsen everything, like this isn't already a nightmare, Donghyuck flicks his gaze up to see that the other end has landed on a too familiar face. Someone he's hoped to not ever be on the receiving end. Jaemin. _Again_.

"You must be fucking kidding me," Donghyuck says aloud. Probably a little too loud as Mark winces beside him but Donghyuck is out of fucks to give. He gets up to his feet and snatches the bottle off the floor, pointing it at Jaemin like a weapon. The latter barely flinches, what a fucking menace. Donghyuck hates him, he swears, his blood is boiling at the sight and there's nothing more he wants than to jump off this yacht, into the abyss.

"This is a fucking joke. I'm not going into that room with you again."

He can mildly hear Yerim trying to calm him down behind but his gaze is fixated on the resigned expression on Jaemin's face. The utter lack of fight. Jaemin, too, gets up to his feet and inches closer to him. Donghyuck takes a step back mostly instinctively but Jaemin closes in quickly and wraps a hand around his, the one holding onto the bottle in a tight grip.

"Scared, Lee?" Jaemin says softly, echoing the words Donghyuck said back then, two years ago. And for that, Donghyuck's gaze turns dark, narrowed. "I'm not the one with a mean fist."

"Then, you should be scared, Na, because I won't hesitate to punch you again."

"Uh, boys?" Yerim interrupts them, looking over them with barely concealed worry. Jaemin drops his hand at the sound of her voice and the warmth that filled his being then is stripped away. Yerim gently pries the bottle away from Donghyuck's grip and hugs it to her chest. "Do you want to skip? Unless you guys promise to not resort to violence please."

There's a challenge posed there and Donghyuck isn't one to back down from the sight of fire, nothing fears him, not even Jaemin himself. He grabs onto Jaemin's wrist, surprising the latter, and tugs him towards the room across where they're designated to spend seven minutes in. The split of a grin on Yerim's face is the last thing he sees before the door is shut behind him and he's left alone with Jaemin again.

"Why are you so harsh with your hands?" Jaemin asks, attempting to pull his hand out of Donghyuck's grip, and the latter hasn't realised that he's still holding Jaemin's hand. Donghyuck drops it immediately and bites at the inside of his cheek, quiet, when Jaemin rubs at the small circle of his wrist, barely reddened. He's merely dramatic as always. "Can't you be gentler?"

"Sorry to have hurt your _delicate_ hands, your highness," Donghyuck spits out, folding his arms in front of his chest, looking around the space they're forced to spend seven minutes in.

The room they're in is as foreign to him but it's way smaller than where they were. A thought occurs to him that perhaps that is the ballroom. It's well decorated however, with a light blue wallpaper that matches the rest of the yacht, with silver details furnished into the pieces in the room; the small couch with a coffee table, a bookshelf with books lining the shelves. Now that Donghyuck is properly perusing the room, it looks more like a private reading room and he wonders if Jaemin spends his time here.

"I do," Jaemin answers and Donghyuck realises belatedly that he has voiced his question out. The look of surprise on his face earns him an amused expression from Jaemin as he continues, "Not as much as I'd like to but...yeah."

"I see," Donghyuck nods, imagining Jaemin here in the cosiness of this room with the lights dimmed, sailboat drifting slowly in the waters, a book open in his lap. It's a wonder to see his face so open with serenity and Donghyuck is surprised that he wants to perceive that sometime. Gesturing to the bookshelf, "Not Nicholas Sparks, I hope?"

Donghyuck can't see the titles but Jaemin answers his question with a light chuckle, "I'm into historical fiction actually. Always wanted to travel."

All of this doesn't strike Donghyuck as odd, and it's even more surprising that he remembers most of what Jaemin had said to him at ten years old in the safe haven of the gardens, sunlight dripping over them. Despite the money Jaemin's family had, similarly to Donghyuck's, they never travelled so the summers out in this town were a first for him whereas Donghyuck had been to places like Bali, Perth and the pretty streets of Venice. He spoke with the light of curiousity in his voice of hopes and dreams of travelling his way through the world and Donghyuck had smiled endearingly, nodding along. They were so different, still very much so now, but underneath everything, Donghyuck still yearns for the childlike innocence that comes with it, the wonder of discovering everything together.

Nothing about Jaemin has escaped his mind since then and now when they're in this space, his hatred dulled by the soft of the dimming lights settling over Jaemin's face, he can't quite deny what he wants truthfully.

Maybe what's strange is that Donghyuck reaches out with his hands, not to land a bruise on Jaemin's skin, but to lightly trace the scar he's made years back in his dumb adolescence. Something that he has always wanted to indulge in. Jaemin's eyes flutter close at the tender of his touch and sighs.

"I know," Donghyuck says softly. "You told me once."

"Of course I did," Jaemin laughs, utterly devoid of any amusement. "You don't miss a single thing, do you, Lee?"

"So do you."

"They say: _keep your friends close and your enemies closer_ ," Jaemin smiles and his eyes open to fix Donghyuck with an intense look. There's always a hint of the mirrored hatred in those eyes but this time, Donghyuck finds none despite his words. He sounds tired, if anything. "I'm just abiding by it."

Enemies huh? But here Donghyuck is, stroking his enemy's cheek with a sort of fondness laced in his gaze and he wants nothing more than the fire between them to be sparked with something else. Something _more_. His mother's words haunt him in the back of his head but he throws caution to the wind and leans further into the warmth that Jaemin naturally radiates, the fire residing in him so effortlessly. Sometimes, a forest fire, other times, a cosy fireplace that Donghyuck wants to lull his senses to.

"Do you hate me?" Donghyuck asks suddenly after a long beat of silence. He's not even sure if the seven minutes are up but it has been quite a while and there isn't a knock on the door. Taking his chances, Donghyuck dives into the fire, in hopes that he doesn't burn to ashes, "Do you hate me at all, Jaem?"

At the utter of his nickname, rarely so by Donghyuck out of all people, he stiffens in place. Donghyuck starts moving away, pulling his hand away but Jaemin grabs a hold of his wrist and halts him in doing so. The intensity in his eyes has deepened and there's something that Donghyuck recognises in there, something that is equally visible in his as well: _hope_.

This is different from their secret endeavours. There's something to be explored here and the line of their relationship is so blurred that Donghyuck can't see the difference between reality and his projection. And he so desperately wishes, wishes, wishes.

Jaemin hums, his touch searing into Donghyuck's wrist, even more with the low rumble of his words. "I think I did at some point, but not for the right reasons." When Donghyuck jerks at that confession, a laugh stutters out of Jaemin's lips, so vibrant and clear unlike any. His eyes are now twinkling and the hand on Donghyuck's wrist is tugging him forward, his other hand lifting up to caress his cheek with a trace of adoration.

It's all so strange and implausible that Donghyuck is sure he must've dreamed of it, along with the words uttered after: "I think I hated you because you weren't mine."

Jaemin's eyes are bright, cheeks flushed so prettily, "Did you?"

Donghyuck is shocked to find that his voice is still working when he says, clouded in the purity of the most inner desires of his heart, "I hated you because you weren't looking at me like I wanted you to."

"I'm looking at you now," Jaemin leans in, lips hovering over Donghyuck's so agonisingly. Donghyuck is vibrating with the urge to...

Their lips meet halfway, noses nudging against each other awkwardly at first so they pull away with a soft laugh before trying again. This time, Donghyuck slowly captures Jaemin's upper lip between his and grazes his teeth lightly over the flesh, inciting a moan out of the latter successfully. He smiles, properly kissing Jaemin, their bodies moving in sync, towards each other.

It's like years of enmity have taught them all they needed to know; Donghyuck knows all of Jaemin's weak points and he runs his hands down Jaemin's sides, invoking shivers at the faintest of touches. His fingers pad over Jaemin's waist, snugly wrapping a hand around him to pull him in further. Jaemin goes, as effortlessly, sighing into the kiss, wrapping his hands around Donghyuck's neck, his fingers tickling the trimmed hairs at Donghyuck's nape. He licks his way into Donghyuck's mouth, swallowing all of his moans when he tugs on Donghyuck's hair just a tad harder, just like how he likes it.

"I'm glad you didn't end up punching me," Jaemin laughs breathlessly into Donghyuck's neck before pressing a kiss there, his lips travelling upwards. Donghyuck can't even retaliate if he wants to and maybe this is where his regrets start piling up because he's now at Jaemin's expense, though differently. Right at the shell of his ear, Jaemin whispers, "Hey, Lee."

"Yeah?"

Jaemin pulls back, that pretty face of his sprinkled in bliss. His lips are bruised red and his cheeks are coloured and Donghyuck wants nothing more than to devour him. He grabs onto one of Jaemin's hands and lightly interlock their hands together, Jaemin's gaze drops to the sight of their intertwined hands and the smile that graces his face after is one of the softest Donghyuck has ever seen.

"You're mine, aren't you?"

If the kiss afterwards isn't much of an answer, Donghyuck will use his words and his hands to show all the ways that he has always belonged to Jaemin and him only. Since the first summer day, since the first time the boy reached a hand outwardly and showed him the ladybugs. It's funny how the universe works sometimes, and things come back in full circle.

There's a knock on the door then, and they're startled out of their bliss, looking at each other with mirrored smiles. His twin flame, the boy in the gardens, Donghyuck presses a kiss to the scar he's permanently stained Jaemin's skin.

Seven minutes is up.

* * *

Summer is over, but the story of the two boys running around flower bushes is far from it.


End file.
